Degrees of Separation

OK, I will be the first to admit – I am “one of those moms.” I like to see it all, never miss a moment, make every practice, put my child ahead of myself. While I realize this may not always be the best practice, old habits are hard to break (although as Brady has gotten older, I have gotten better). I was married for the first 3.5 years of my son’s life and never spent more than about 5 hours away from Brady. Of course my marriage was far from normal, but this blog is about my love (and attachment) to my son. Once we divorced, I was given full custody. His father still sees him, but we still aren’t apart very much. He does spend the night 1-2 nights each month, which was an adjustment. But I have come to enjoy those few quiet times.

Then I took on a new job, this job requires some travel. Once each month I travel a few hours to a staff meeting all day. The first month was a bit exhilarating, to be honest. I actually enjoy the professional conversation. I have had to travel a few times (Texas, Denver, and Washington, D.C.). Each trip was a few days, and Brady came along (with his nannies – Mamaw and Papa).

This week I am taking my first “solo” trip without Brady. So this will be the first time that I will ever miss a day of his life. I will be gone a bit over 48-hours. I know he is almost five years old and will be fine. I thought about taking him along with me for the short trip. But the realist in me knows that it is best for Brady to stick to his regular routine of preschool, church, play dates, and other stuff. So although I will miss the little man like crazy, he will be in good hands. Personally I am dreading leaving him, however, I have a few books and movies (with Brady’s DVD player). I plan to enjoy my first adult alone time in over five years.

As Brady grows each year, I notice another piece of me letting go of him and allowing him to find his own wings. I know this is all a healthy part of parenting, but it still stinks how quickly they grow up and move on to the next chapter of their lives. But our job as parents is to raise up future adults, not keep them little (as much as we may want to). All we can do is hope that we raise the future generation with common sense, integrity, good values, and knowing that we love them and believe in them.

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