From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I have always had a difficult time “putting myself out there.” I like to stick to the places, people, and things that I am familiar with. My friends laugh at me when I tell them I think I have a mild form of social anxiety disorder. They reason, rather fairly, that I don’t seem anxious when interacting with others and in truth, I’m not. Once I’m introduced to someone, I feel comfortable making small talk, telling stories and joking around. It’s breaking the ice from unknown to known that leaves me shaking in my boots.
I don’t even like going into a take-out restaurant if I don’t know “the process.” Do I order food here? When do I customize my toppings? Is it time to pay? Do I sit down now? For some reason, these simple rituals confound me. I realize this is a stupid hang-up. After all—if I did “screw up the process,” who cares? No one, that’s who! Yet I still behave timidly in many new situations.
Luckily, Haley is at an age when what other people are thinking is the very last thing on her mind. She loves to run around the bookstore, babble loudly at the coffee shop, and stand on the booth at the restaurant. I love that about her and I’m realizing that I don’t want this to ever change. (Well, maybe the standing on the booth part!) I don’t want her to worry about what other people think. I don’t want her to feel nervous that she might embarrass herself in public. She shouldn’t feel that way, and neither should I. I’d hate it if she picked up on my uncomfortable feelings during certain social interactions.
I’m trying to look at it this way—when you talk to another person, you are always learning something and so are they. You have an opportunity to connect and to be kind. You can make someone feel better or feel worse—the choice is yours. You can spread happiness, if you choose to. Isn’t that what it’s all about anyway? I certainly want Haley to think so. And if someone isn’t so sweet to us, it just proves that there’s negativity in the world that we need to learn to overcome. It serves as further evidence that’s it’s up to us to be positive. It’s something we should do, even if it can be a little scary at times.
So in the spirit of making connections, I decided that as fun as it is for Haley and I to stare at each other all day, we should try to make friends. Our neighborhood parenting group is very active, and I recently took the plunge and introduced myself on the online message board. I asked if any other stay-at-home-moms and their children wanted to meet Haley and me. Lo and behold—the responses were really nice! Haley and I have three play dates set up for this week, and I was even invited to join a book club! It’s exciting that Haley and I may potentially meet some great friends, just because we were brave enough to break the ice.
