Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Today’s post marks my 100^th blog entry for GrowUpLearning! I can’t believe I have been chronicling my journey for so long. Or that I’ve been a parent for almost that long. I can’t tell you how much I’ve enjoyed being a part of this website, and how much I appreciate everyone who reads it. Parenting is such a monumental challenge, and in sharing my stories here, I have felt less alone and more confident.

The other night I was lucky enough to have a break from the hard work of parenting with dinner and drinks with my cousin, who lives close by. We sat at the bar where the big screen television was showing a professional hockey game. We started chatting with the guy sitting beside us, an avid Rangers fan. As we exchanged pleasantries, we each mentioned our occupations. When he asked what I did, I said “Oh, I stay at home with my daughter”. Then he said, “Oh that’s nice, I’d like to stay home!” I think he realized how ridiculous he sounded because he quickly qualified himself, saying, “Actually I bet it’s really hard! My sister watches her boys and it’s, like, no joke.” I know he was trying to make it better, but I felt patronized.

It is really hard to explain why being a stay-at-home parent is so incredibly difficult. I always tell my non-parent friends that more than anything, parenting is relentless. You are charged with keeping your little ones clean, dry, well-fed and rested. You need to keep them out of danger, something that toddlers seem to court constantly. You have to be aware of anything that could possibly trigger a tantrum and be ahead of it. You have to keep your cool. You have to accept that you cannot use the bathroom, make a phone call, pour yourself a cup of coffee, or check your e-mail when you really, really want or even need to. It’s physically exhausting, often with drama happening through the night. But the physical exhaustion is nothing compared with the emotional exhaustion. You think you love your mom, your husband, your sister? Worry about them? Just wait. You’d never know your heart could be this full of feeling. Of course—this is true of all parents, not just non-working ones.

There will always be people who look down on stay-at-home-parents for their own reasons. That’s life. Plenty of people have unfair notions about working parents, too. Even I did before I became a parent myself and got a clue. It’s actually pretty amusing to be around childless folks who think they have it all figured out. But when they join the club, they’ll learn.

From Friday Mom – Jaime:
As an attorney, a lot of times I have to make snap decisions. I have a judge screaming at me over the position I’m taking – do I stand my ground or concede the point? We get a settlement offer as we’re standing on the courthouse steps walking in to try the case – do I recommend it to the client and buy certainty in the outcome or should I tell them it’s better to roll the dice? Do I call an extra witness at trial, even though the judge should have everything he needs to rule in our favor?

In my job, I’m confident in making most of these decisions on the fly. I can draw from almost 10 years of experience as a litigator, as well as a solid understanding of the applicable rule and laws.

It’s not always so easy as a parent.

We got excellent news today on our house. It actually looks like a house again. By that I mean the tarps that have been holding the place together since October are gone. We have 4 walls again. We have a roof. New windows that aren’t broken or have cracked seals. (The inside is still a work in progress, but outside, it looks like a house again).

Andrew overheard my discussing this on the phone with Hubby. Immediately, he started begging to go by the house to see. We’ve been very careful not to go anywhere near the house with him since the hurricane. We didn’t want to upset him further letting him see the damage that’s kept us out of our home going on our third month now.

But he was insistent. I pulled the car over and asked him why he wanted to see. “It’s my HOUSE, Mommy! I want to see how the house doctors are doing with it. The band-aids are gone now.” I cringed – already knowing his answer – before asking whether it would make him feel better to see the house. (Of course, the answer was a big, fat “YEAH”) I asked if it would freak him out because the house wouldn’t look exactly the same. (He got his serious face on and told me, “I will not freak out. I PROMISE you, Mommy.”)

You can already tell where this is going… I took him by the house. We didn’t go inside and didn’t get out of the car, but we drove by. He got to see that we have a new roof, that all the walls are in tact. He asked a couple questions, like why the side of the house is 3 different colors. (They haven’t put up shingles yet.) He actually noticed that the roof is a slightly different color than it was before and asked why it’s a different color. (I can’t BELIEVE he could tell the difference, but was satisfied with the answer that it was new.)

I don’t think Hubby was thrilled with me bringing Andrew by. I still don’t know if I did the right thing. It helped ME today to see the house all in one piece again. The sense of relief was indescribable. But I’m 34 years old… I don’t know if Andrew will have the same reaction. Andrew is upstairs in his bed and I’m trying not to worry about whether his dreams will be full of visions of when the trees came through our house…

Sometimes we have to make spur of the moment decisions and we chose the wrong thing. I hope my judgment wasn’t off on this one, but I guess only time will tell.

If nothing else, we have a big weekend full of all kinds of fun things to distract Andrew with… I can wait for our special Mommy and Andrew time on Sunday, but that’s a story for another post.

Have a great weekend everyone.