Archive for July, 2013

Support

Monday, July 8th, 2013

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
We moved into our new apartment  months ago, but in some ways it feels like yesterday. I’m proud to say we’ve made the space our own and set it up in a way that uniquely suits us. There’s no doubt a toddler lives here! I don’t love the constant clutter, but I’ve realized that it is what it is—it’s not going to change any time soon and I might as well embrace the chaos. I’m slowly getting used to it.

In other ways, we’re so entrenched in our lives it’s hard to believe our routine was ever different. I’ve made some great mom friends in the area, and I’ve come to rely on them so much it’s hard to believe I didn’t even know them a year ago. Of course I still love my non-parent friends, but there’s something about sharing your experiences with someone is who in the trenches as well. When Haley causes a scene at a store, it can be mortifying. People stare at you as if they were never children themselves, as if your poor parenting is to blame for a toddler being a toddler! However, when I see my mom friends a few hours later and they can completely commiserate with me, I feel much better. No matter what happened, they always seem to say “Oh, that was us last week!” It makes me feel so much less alone.

My friends have taught me so much it’s really hard to describe—when not to give a child pain reliever, how much food is really enough, that it’s okay to hold off on potty training, the secrets to a longer nap—the list goes on! I’m glad Haley has their children for playmates and I’m thankful that I have pals of my own. Now if we could just add in a few more “Mom’s Night Outs,” it would be perfect!

The Precious Firsts

Friday, July 5th, 2013

From Friday Mom – Erin:
A few weeks ago, our sitter asked if she could take Rory swimming. It did not end up happening (because the other sitter she had been planning to go with did not get back in touch with her in time). However, it was the first moment when I was jealous of an experience he might have with her. I said yes because it was supposed to be 98 degrees that day, and I knew that he would enjoy being cool. But I also had a very hard time with the decision.

My uncertainty was due, in part, to the fact that my husband and I were both swimmers growing up. We both have very fond memories of going to the pool with our moms when we were little kids. Sure, neither of us truly remembers our first time, but we both recall how much we loved the water and how many hours we spent poolside over the course of our childhoods. So, naturally, we are hopeful that Rory will have some of the same love of the water that we both have. Which means that we are both excited about seeing his reaction the first time he feels his buoyancy in the water.

I talked with my husband once I arrived at work the day of their potential swim to be certain he was okay with my decision. Ultimately, we agreed that we did not want our own selfish desires to keep him from getting to enjoy new experiences with his sitter. And we reminded ourselves that even if he does get to share some of those early experiences with her, the first time we take him swimming will still be the first time WE do it with him, and that will still be special.

But, I have to admit, I was glad to learn that plans did not work out that day.

Three Years Old

Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
Exactly three years ago, my husband and I were anticipating the arrival of our second child.  We had a scheduled C-section planned.  Being a planner myself, it was very convenient knowing when this little bundle of joy would arrive.  We had an exact time frame to get the nursery ready, decide on a name and prepare to love another child the same as our first.

Tate arrived into this world with a smile.  When the doctor handed him over to me, a sweet little smirk beamed across his face.  Ironically, he has been our little firecracker, comedian, social butterfly, and lovable child.  He makes us laugh with his silly faces, stories and dance skills.  He loves to be around people and play with his big brother.

Initially, transitioning to a family of four was difficult.  It took months to get on a sleep schedule (six to be exact) and juggle two children at the same time.  Tate has definitely tested his mother, father, and brother many times over the last three years.  He has challenged us in ways we never experienced with Jack.  However, Tate is his own person with his own personality, and I admire him for that.  His personality may be exhausting to us as parents, but his energy will ultimately be a beneficial life long trait.  I think back to those sleepless nights and miss seeing those wide eyes and sweet smile at three in the morning.

We’re looking forward to a Curious George birthday party at the park this weekend and quality time with our family.  He is anxious to see and play with his cousins and celebrate three fun years.  We often call him our little firecracker because he is clearly the spark that keeps us on our toes.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Tate!

 

Bribery

Monday, July 1st, 2013

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Lately, whenever Haley and I leave the house for an outing, she’s been really good about getting into her stroller. I guess she’s excited about our stated destination and has some gained some maturity and insight about what it takes to get there efficiently. However, leaving wherever we are to go back home is a huge challenge. That’s when Haley wants to “walk-walk” and the battle begins. I’ve been reduced to bribery to get her to cooperate. I entice her to get into the stroller with a lollipop—awful, I know. If she rejects the lollipop, I often force her into the stroller while she literally kicks and screams. It takes all of my physical ability to accomplish this. Then she wails as I push the stroller pass folks staring at us. To calm her down, I hand her the lollipop she previously rejected.

I’m not proud of bribing my two-year old, but it often works when nothing else does. In fact, I’m thinking of offering her something I once thought I’d never give my young child—nail polish. The thing is, Haley adores nail polish. She loves when I wear it. She loves seeing it at the drugstore. She points it out in magazines. She talks about it all the time. I have no idea why she has such a fascination, but she does. So I plan to use it as an enticement. I haven’t decided if it’s going to be used to get her to stay in her bed at night, eat more of her food, or perhaps down the road for potty training, but I consider it my ace in the hole.

The “two’s” are a very challenging time. Haley is pushing us to the limit. She often exhibits behavior she clearly knows is wrong just to see what will happen. If she doesn’t like what’s going on, she feels she has absolutely nothing to lose by lying on the floor screaming—no matter if we’re in public! At this age, kids also start to have strong preferences for different things. I feel I have no choice but to use this to my advantage. I worry that I may be setting myself up for “problems down the road.” But for now, I just need her to sit in that darn stroller!