Archive for February, 2015

Bedtime Chats

Wednesday, February 4th, 2015

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
Every night since Tate started sleeping in his “big boy” bed, he makes a request that sounds like this: “Mommy, will you lay with me?” It saddens me to think that each and every night I reply: “of course, just for a minute. “ In my mind, I’m thinking about getting Jack cleaned up and tucked in as well, finishing up any homework/projects due the next day, tidying up the kitchen mess, and any other tasks life throws at me all in time to enjoy a couple hours in the evening to relax and have some “me” time.  Tate deserves more than just a minute.

It wasn’t until recently that I’ve picked up on some details that I probably never would’ve talked with Tate about. Those few extra minutes I lie in bed with Tate are when all the good stuff comes out. We talk about his friends, how much he misses his family members, how he tried really hard at staying in the lines while coloring his worksheet at school, how he helped his friend pick up papers that fell all over the floor, and how he felt really sad about not including a friend in his game of tag on the playground. He once told me how one of his girl friends from school told him he was cute. “Eeeeww… disgusting,” he said.

I cherish our heart-to-heart talks. I like to put the kids to bed so I can enjoy some time to myself, but I feel guilty if I miss out on some quality time. So, tonight when Tate asks me to lie down with him, I will lie there as long as he wants me to. If it adds fifteen extra minutes to the bedtime routine, then that is fifteen extra minutes I get to spend with him. I know years from now I’ll be asking him (and Jack) to take an extra fifteen minutes to spend with ME.

Not So Super Bowl

Monday, February 2nd, 2015

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I am not a big fan of the NFL, so I enjoy the Super Bowl and the absence of pressure and nervousness I sometimes feel when watching a favorite tennis player or my alma mater. I can just watch the game, enjoy snacks, and appreciate the commercials. At the end of a long week, I was looking forward to a stress-free evening on the sofa. I guess I forgot for a moment that I am the mom to two little ones.

After bath time, I was contending with a three year old who was being quite sassy and taking her time getting settled in bed. Concurrently, I was nursing—and nursing and nursing—the infant, who had no interest in going down gently.

You’d think I’d be used to this. That I’d say to myself, “oh is the Super Bowl tonight? It will be nice to catch some of it.” Yet I foolishly cling to my pre-kid hopefulness. I somehow believe that I will be happily lounging from the National Anthem to the “I’m Going to Disneyland!” declaration… not repeatedly admonishing my preschooler and constantly changing diapers and spit-up pajamas.

I wonder why I always do this. I guess for some reason—mommy blogs, social media, etc.—I get the impression, whether false or not, that other parents are able to enjoy their lives the same way they did pre-baby. I don’t actually think that that’s the reality, though. It can’t just be me feeling like I’m missing out on doing whatever I want to, whenever I want to do it. Parenting is by definition a loss of self to some degree. I guess I’m somewhat in denial about that. By the time I accept it, my kids will probably be in elementary school and way more self-sufficient—just when I’ll start getting more of my autonomy back. And exactly when I’ll start wondering why they don’t need me like they used to.