Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

I’ll be honest… Bribery is not beneath me.

You’ve probably done it too. Your kid is screaming her brains out, you’ve done everything you can think of to calm her down and the words, “I’ll give you THIS if you stop crying.” The “this” can take many forms – a hug, a cookie, a new toy. Anything to try to change the outcome and create more favorable behavior.

When we first talked to Andrew about potty training, we asked him what he wanted as a reward for using the potty. While he steadfastly maintained that he was NEVER going to use the bathroom, he told us he wanted cupcakes as a present.

I can’t even tell you the number of cupcakes I’ve bought and thrown away waiting for him to earn them. So we’ve used cupcakes, cars, books, coloring books, trips to the Great Adventure safari… But it’s gotten to the point where if Andrew even looks at the bathroom, he’s asking us for a present.

I guess we’ve created a bit of a monster with the whole giving him stuff as a reward thing.

But today we didn’t give Andrew books or toys and we didn’t have cupcakes. So I told Andrew we’d make cupcakes together after school. He ran to the car asking me if we had enough sprinkles.

We mixed up the batter. I frosted the cupcakes. Andrew decorated. And decorated. And decorated. I swear there is more sprinkle than cupcake on some of them.

But it was fun. It was something different. And it was great spending time with my little guy after a long day at work.

I’m looking forward to spending more time with my boys over the long weekend. Have a great weekend everyone.

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding jobs in the world. It’s also one of the hardest.

At work, you get coffee breaks. Smoke breaks, if that’s your thing. Lunch breaks. And you get to leave the office at the end of the day and do your own thing.

There’s no similar “break” from being a parent. Whether you’re home or at work or even asleep, you’re still on call twenty-four hours a day. And when you have to be “on,” you actually have to be on. Little ones don’t have the same understanding and tolerance for “I’m sick” or “I’m exhausted” or “I had a really bad day at work.”

I’ve been sick for over a year now. I’m lucky that it’s nothing really serious or scary. For most of the year, no one could even tell me what was wrong. More than ten highly educated doctors (including one who probably doesn’t qualify as highly educated or a doctor) couldn’t tell me why one minute I’d feel great and the next, the room would be spinning. Sometimes I’d be dizzy for a couple minutes. Sometimes it would last for days.

At the end of the day, I’m frequently wiped out and ready for bed before Andrew. It’s frustrating to have felt so lousy and had no answers for so long. Even more depressing was being told that you can treat my symptoms but not “cure” me.

But what really gets to me is the way this has affected my family. I feel badly when I can’t play with Andrew because I’m too tired to keep my eyes open while he’s up. There are times I feel too sick to drive and have to ask hubby to pick up Andrew or drive me home.

I suppose I should consider myself lucky because, as much as this stinks, it could be so much worse. Every day, I do the best I can not to let it affect me – at work and especially at home. Some days I deal with it better than others. But man, am I sick and tired of feeling sick and tired.

Okay. My pity party is over. I’ll be back next week, more rested and more upbeat…

Have a great weekend.

I told myself that I wouldn’t devote a lot of web space to writing about potty training.  Yes, it’s something every parent struggles with. But when I started blogging about Andrew, I promised myself that I would try to avoid posts which would embarrass him to death later in life.

So I have tried to minimize the stories like this one: Andrew tried to get us up in the morning so he could use the bathroom.  Hubby didn’t hear him.  I didn’t make it to his door fast enough.  When I opened the door, Andrew was grinning like a Cheshire cat – his stuffed monkey in one hand, his diaper in the other.  Yeah…he had peeled it off and peed on the floor.

Sorry, Andrew!  I promise now that I’ve gotten this story out of my system, I won’t repeat it in front of your future girl friends, at your wedding or bar mitzvah.

But since I’m on the subject of potty training…

When you walk into Andrew’s classroom at day care, on the wall immediately in front of you is a chart with all the kids’ names.  It’s the potty training chart and for a lot of kids, it’s full of stars.  For a few of the boys, it has a couple.  Then there’s Andrew’s row…with no stars.  (There is one other little girl with no stars)

It’s not that Andrew’s never used the potty.  Just not at school.  And he steadfastly maintains that he doesn’t want to use the potty at school.

We asked Andrew what he wanted as a reward for using the bathroom.  At first, his response was “CUPCAKES!” Then he wanted cars.  Coloring books. Now he’s totally obsessed with characters from the Toy Story movies.

I’m not sure how to convince a stubborn 2 year old that he should be using the potty instead of just going in his diaper. Bribery isn’t working.  Neither is seeing all his other friends at school using the bathroom.  So I’m not really sure what to try next.

Who has any ideas for me?

Have a great weekend guys!

I love my job. Despite some of the gripes and grumblings I am sometimes known to make, I really do. I’ve always wanted to be a lawyer and consider myself lucky to have a job doing what I always wanted to do.

But sometimes, the job really gets in the way. Of my family. Of everything, really.

We have a major arbitration starting on Monday. All of our submissions were due to the arbitrator yesterday, so the Vegas trip came at a really bad time this year. As I hopped on the plane with my family, my thoughts immediately turned to whether I should actually be getting on the plane instead of heading back to the office to crank out all the briefs I had to work on. (Well, that and “PLEASE let Andrew get through this flight okay”)

We got back on Tuesday night after what can only be described as the worst airport experience I have ever had. Andrew screamed his way through the entire airport, down the jetway, through the plane and to our seat. (Which is exactly what I told at least 15 airport staff, including the pilot, would happen. Oh yes, I was questioned by a large number of people about whether or not I could control my child and threatened that if I couldn’t keep him quiet they’d throw us off the plane…Not that I’m still bitter or anything.) Wednesday and Thursday were a blur of briefs, motions, and prep. Late hours, little sleep, LOTS of caffeine. But through it all, I was still mom.

I had to leave my office at 6 to pick Andrew up, even though the other associate working this file was in the office until 10. I made dinner for Andrew, while freaking out about how much work I still had to accomplish. While only 10 pages deep into a brief that promised to be at least three times that long, Andrew started asking for me to put him to sleep. So I was lying on the couch with Andrew nodding off in my arms, while reading stacks of cases on fascinating topics like spoliation and marketability discounts.

But that’s the way it should be. Sometimes the balancing act is really hard, with the line between my personal and professional lives getting pretty blurred. Spending those moments with Andrew, despite the insanity of my day (and sometimes the craziness of my night), are too important to both of us.

Now that the weekend is almost here, I’m hoping to catch up on some sleep and some time with the little guy. The big one too, of course.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Greetings from somewhere between Jersey and Nevada.

Right now we’re on our way out to Las Vegas. I realize it’s the middle of summer and we’re heading to the desert. But it’s fun, and we’ve been doing it every year.

Some years Andrew does better with the trip than others. We try to time the flights around nap time so there’s less time on the plane where he’s awake and we’re trying to keep him occupied while strapped into the seat. Sometimes that works better than others, but it is really hard to keep an active 2 year old in his seat for 5+ hours.

The time change definitely throws him. By around 7, he’s ready to go to bed. And, unfortunately, that also means that by 5 AM, he’s rip roaring ready to go. I can handle going to bed early…but waking up that early is brutal. Especially since there is NOTHING to do in Vegas that early except gamble, and you can’t exactly do that with a little one.

The other interesting part of this trip will be whether Andrew actually sleeps in his own bed. He usually doesn’t sleep so well in hotels and wants to be in bed with us. I’ll have my fingers crossed for at least a couple nights of sleeping in a munchkin-free bed.

Andrew has been looking forward to getting on the airplane and seeing his Vegas girlfriend. (My friend from college has a little girl Andrew’s age. Last year they bonded over taking turns riding Andrew’s stuffed horse “Neigh” and jumping up and down in his crib.) He’ll have fun swimming, eating ice cream, and cruising around the strip watching all the people. It’ll be good to get away for a couple days.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Andrew was invited to a birthday party. It’s one of his friends from day care, who he loves. For about a month now, Andrew has been talking about going to Landon’s party. Mr. Scott the Music Man is going to make a special guest appearance. (This is a very exciting thing…Mr. Scott wears a lot of tie dye, dances and plays fun music for kids. Andrew loves him.)

But seeing how this is our first birthday party for someone who isn’t family…

I have absolutely no idea what to get the birthday boy. If he’s anything like Andrew, he’s into Thomas the Tank Engine and Cars. But if he’s anything like Andrew, he owns virtually every Thomas and Cars character on the market.

So what do you get a three year old boy that he doesn’t already own far too many of? And how much do you spend on a friend from school?

I have no idea, but hopefully I figure it out before Saturday!

Have you ever noticed that the little things become more difficult after you have kids? The first obvious difference is that there’s no such thing as traveling light (if you were ever capable of it in the first place). Suddenly, a quick day trip half an hour away requires not just your purse. You have to have the diaper bag. And the activity bag for the car. And the bag of snacks. And…whatever else you shove into a bag, realistically NEVER actually needing it, but now you have it JUST IN CASE.

Without fail, at least once a week, I’ll leave the house and leave something I need inside. Whether it’s a file, a bag, my lunch or something even less significant, pre-baby I could just run back inside and reclaim what I needed.

The difficulty factor increases when you throw a kid into the mix. If you’ve already wrestled your child into his car seat, do you unstrap him and run back into the house together? Do you turn the car on and let him sit in the air conditioning for the 30 seconds you’re away? Will you end up getting a call from DYFS if you do? (The lawyer in me feels the need to clarify that I don’t leave Andrew in the car unattended. I do actually run him back into the house with me and make myself even later for work in the morning)

Right now hubby and I are undertaking the oh-so-enjoyable task of looking for a house. We’ve been in a townhouse we outgrew before Andrew was born and we had to somehow fit all his stuff into our house too. Andrew needs a yard to play in and a swing set, more room to run around. It provides the motivation to look, but I’m not looking forward to it.

It took us 9+ months to find our townhouse. I could have had a kid in that time! And, even with the morning sickness, it would have been more enjoyable than the house hunting!

The first house we looked at, Andrew came with us. It was a beautiful place. At least, I think it was. I probably spent more time chasing after Andrew and making sure he didn’t wreck the place than I spent paying attention to what I was seeing.

Fortunately, my parents have offered to watch Andrew so we can concentrate at looking at houses. That will make things easier. If nothing else, we can look at the hot pink walls and teal carpeting of a basement, wondering what the heck those people were thinking, without fear of Andrew taking a header down the stairs.

So, wish us luck. I’m hoping this little task is easier the second time around.

Have a great weekend everyone.

Two weeks ago, our family sent us on our first Andrew-free vacation. Andrew had a blast being spoiled rotten by his grandparents. While his parents enjoyed getting away and spending time together, we also missed him terribly.

When we pulled into the driveway at my parents’ house, Andrew came right over. His face lit up as he screamed “MOMMY!” and threw his arms up in the air so I could scoop him up. As soon as I went in for the kiss, he literally jumped out of my arms and covered daddy’s face in kisses.

The ENTIRE ride down to our house, Andrew was sobbing. He begged for his grandparents. Told us he didn’t want to go home. That it was no fun at home. He didn’t want anyone other than Nana to put him to sleep.

Andrew was a little stand-off-ish for a few days after that, but by the end of the week, it seemed like we were finally forgiven for going away.

Unfortunately by the end of the week, we took off again. This time we went down to Virginia on Friday night for a wedding. Andrew returned to the fun house with Nana, Papa, Alli (my sister) and Rosie (their dog that Andrew has declared to be his). We met up on Sunday morning for brunch.

Andrew refused to look at us. He clung to my mom’s neck like it was a life preserver. He wouldn’t sit next to anyone but Nana. Wouldn’t talk to anyone but Nana. I couldn’t even bribe Andrew into a smile with new trains or Lightening McQueen stickers.

Again, the entire ride home he bawled and screamed that he wanted Nana and Papa, not Mommy and Daddy.

I won’t lie. It stung. I missed the little guy like crazy. I know he missed us too. But instead of embracing us when we got back, we were in the dog house for leaving him in the first place. Maybe that’s normal for kids…but it’s still real hard to take.

Early Monday morning, about 20 minutes after I finally got to sleep, Andrew woke up screaming for me. It was the first time in awhile he woke up in the middle of the night. Part of me wanted to let him cry himself back to sleep, but I also knew he just needed to see we were still there.

I ended up spending the next four hours asleep in the rocker at the foot of his bed. It made for a long right for me, but maybe it helped him feel a little more secure. At least I’d like to think so… Maybe it’ll even get me out of the dog house sooner rather than later.

I often am amazed by the things that come out of Andrew’s mouth. Not just because I had no idea he actually knew my name to be anything other than “mommy” or that he knew every single Disney character, whether we’ve introduced him to them on not.

It’s fascinating to see his mind work.

We drove past the street his doctor’s office was on yesterday. He yells from the backseat “MOMMY! DOCTOR!” I looked over to where he was pointing, impressed that he knew that. Then he says, “Need doctor, mommy! Have boo-boo. Doctor look at boo-boo.”

Okay… maybe I shouldn’t be overly impressed that he pieced that one together. (For the record, his latest boo-boo was a scraped knee from when he tripped over his own feet on the playground.) I thought I’d be able to sneak some veggies into Andrew’s favorite food (mac and cheese). Yeah. No dice. He knew just looking at it there was something not quite right. I watched as any mouthful containing a piece of corn got spit out, analyzed and rejected. (Anyone got any other brilliant ideas for getting him to eat his veggies?)

Today, Andrew’s teacher couldn’t wait for me to pick him up so she could tell me that he was too smart for his own good.

They had been outside playing in the sprinklers. Everyone came inside and got changed. There was a group of kids on line to wash their hands after they had used the potty. Andrew tried to jump on line and said he needed to wash his hands too.

They told him he was clean and these were the kids who had just used the potty. Andrew nodded like this made perfect sense. Ten minutes later, Andrew runs to the bathroom announcing that he had to go potty. They let him in, he strips off his diaper and (of course) doesn’t go. But he hops off the toilet and says, “I wash hands now too!”

They were amazed that he planned the whole thing out so he’d be allowed to play in the sink. Without a doubt, this kid is the product of his parents… boy are we in trouble when he gets older!

When I was little, I can remember going down to Florida every year over my winter break. We’d spend part of the week with my grandmother at her place, and we’d spend the rest of the time down in Disney.

We used to go to the Turtle Back Zoo and every year. You’d get a different colored key each year shaped like a different animal. If you inserted the key into the special player in front of the animals’ pen, it would tell you all about them. My sister and I would always fight about who got to use their key to hear about the animals.

Sesame Place. The Land of Make Believe. The Big Apple Circus.

There are so many places that I loved to visit when I was little. I can’t wait to be able to share those same things with Andrew. But the question is, when will he be old enough for it?

Is it worth spending the money to take him to these places when he may not be old enough to appreciate it? Will he even remember that we took him to these places if he’s too young? Will it be a total disaster?

My mom and I took Andrew to his first movie in the movie theater over the weekend: Toy Story 3. We were prepared for it to be a total disaster, ending with a complete meltdown and us rushing Andrew out of the theater.

We were pleasantly surprised. He did great! Well, other than the fact that he wasn’t heavy enough to weigh the seat down and the seat kept folding up on him. (In comparison, my purse WAS heavy enough to weigh down the seat. How scary is that?) He loved the movie and I loved being able to take him.

Maybe the little guy is old enough for all the fun things we want to do with him. So…how does Disney sound over winter break?