Posts Tagged ‘behavior’

Bossypants

Monday, August 31st, 2015

From Monday Mo – Neetika:
I was thrilled yesterday at the park when another mom and her little girl came over to play with Haley. The adorable little girl was named Hazel, age 3, and she was enamored with the many princess toys Haley had with her. At first, the girls played nicely together. They role-played princesses and kicked around a ball. But soon, Haley became unreasonably annoyed. Now, I’m sure to Haley there was a reason. But seeing as how she’s 4, what that reason was and how to overcome it was a mystery to us adults. All I know is that it had something to do with the fact that everyone wasn’t doing exactly what she wanted.

Haley usually loves meeting other little girls and plays very well with them. So when she started being bratty, I was shocked and perturbed. She suddenly refused to play with Hazel. I was mortified, but the small blessing was that Hazel seemed oblivious and just kept playing with Haley’s ‘Elsa’ and ‘Anna’ on her own.

I tried to reason with Haley, but she wasn’t having it. I need to just chalk it up to having a bad day. Yet I wonder what to do moving forward. What if these incidents increase in frequency and intensity? How do I instill in Haley the need to treat all playmates with respect, whether we are in the mood to or now? I am not a perfect person, but I’ve always tried to show an example of kindness to my kids. Do I just hope that eventually her goodness will just “take”?

On some level, Haley’s bad behavior is age appropriate. She’s probably testing limits and practicing social interactions. It’s normal. Even if it makes me cringe! I hope ‘Mean Girl’ leaves us as quickly as she arrived.

Bribery Will Get You Everywhere

Monday, December 22nd, 2014

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I admit it: I bribe my kids. Well, I bribe Haley. Hudson, at three months, is less motivated by rewards— unless that reward is breast milk— and he knows he’s getting that no matter what. But his day will come. In the meantime, I offer Haley lots of things—new toys, movies to order through the TV, a positive recommendation to Santa, play dates with friends—really anything to get what I want. I’m not proud of it, but I’m not ashamed of it, either.

Once children leave babyhood and toddlerhood, you can’t really make them do anything. You can’t physically force them to listen, and reasoning with a three or four year old is an exercise in futility. So at times I advocate the “telling them what they want to hear” strategy. Often, they’ll forget what you promised (although sometimes they don’t, so be careful!) or it’s something they’re going to get no matter what (a birthday present you’ve already ordered) so you might as well make them work for it.

Bribery works to get Haley to clean up, behave in public, stay in bed—you name it. The most important time I bribe is when it’s time for Haley to take medicine. Haley has always hated taking drugs in any form and usually, it’s something she really needs to take for the sake of her health. So I do what I need to do. The other day, I brilliantly informed her that I could buy an app on the phone that tells you if you’re on the Naughty or Nice List at the North Pole. It’s expensive, but if she cooperated I would download it. She bought into it. I was able to administer the necessary dose and then inform her that—wait a minute—you are on the Nice List after all! I myself may not make the list after all of these shenanigans, but I’m at peace with that. A mom’s got to do what a mom’s got to do.

The New Four Attitude

Monday, February 15th, 2010

Okay so I always thought it was the “terrible twos?” Well, no one warned me about the “fighting fours” – where everything is a battle. Why is that? I am not sure if it is a normal stage or because of the other personal issues our family has been through. I hope it is normal; anyone else?

He is always one to enjoy staying at home in his PJs, but in February (freezing time in PA), who doesn’t? But yesterday I asked him if he wanted to go to buy a new Thomas Train – NO. Did he want to go to Toys R Us – NO. Did he want to eat anything – NO. He wanted to do nothing but bowl on the Wii. So we bowled for a while. Then while we were bowling, he wanted to change remotes pretty much every turn. He didn’t like it when his balls went in the “gus,” that is Bradyian for gutter.

If it is bedtime, he charges at me and punches my stomach. Ouch. If it is bath time, we argue for 5 – 10 minutes about the fact that he is dirty and needs a bath every day. Whatever I am making for breakfast, lunch, or dinner is NOT what he wants (well, unless I happen to be going to a drive-thru for chicken and fries).  Seriously… it is one issue after another.

Now, don’t get me wrong, he is pretty good most of the time. So maybe I am just handling this wrong, since I am not used to this new “attitude.” I am consistent, firm, take away favorite toys, time outs, canceled playdates, etc. I just feel more like a dictator lately than a mom. I am not a permissive parent, but not overly strict either. My philosophy is somewhere in the middle. Either way, four has been tough: and we are only several weeks in. Let’s hope it is just a short phase.

The Terrible Threes

Monday, October 19th, 2009

Seriously, today was one of those days that I literally felt like someone else invaded my son’s body and took over. Kind of like an “evil twin.” As much as I love the boy, today he even pushed his patient mama to the edge! There were several time-outs, trains taken away, many “talks,” and even one “please go sit in another room, mama feels like she might get very angry.” That was the FIRST time that I ever used that line! Anyone else ever feel like you are at your wits end training these little guys (and gals)?

Let’s see… today we threw play dough across the room, hit the dog, hit me, yelled, and the highlight….. dumped water out of the tub during bath. Now when I say “dumped water,” I am talking A LOT of water. Have you ever seen those large hair rinsing buckets for kids? Yes, Brady filled that entirely FULL and dropped it on the floor. Now, you are probably all thinking that I could have just soaked it up in towels and all would be fine. Yes, very true. Except for the fact that my parents live in an older home and the water QUICKLY ran through the floor, to the basement. There was a 3-foot circle of water on the basement floor. And this was after I soaked up the mess, right after it happened. I was amazed at the speed of the water.

I was warned about the Terrible Twos. I must admit that two was rather easy. Three isn’t that bad either (most days). But today was definitely a Terrible Three day. When we did our goodnight routine, I still gave the kisses and hugs and told him I loved him (of course). But I did mention that “boy, I hope my nice Brady is back tomorrow.” And my little guy looked at me and said “don’t worry mama, he will be back.”