Posts Tagged ‘childless friends’

How Things Change

Monday, August 27th, 2012

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
A few years ago, a couple we are friends with had a baby boy. We were excited for them and knew they would be great parents. A few months after their son arrived, my husband was passing through this young family’s city. He stopped by for dinner. When he got there, our friends said the boy was sleeping, so my husband didn’t get to meet him. This surprised me on several levels.

First, I wasn’t a parent yet myself so I had no idea how important bedtime was or how difficult it is to get a kid back to sleep. Also, these people are definitely the laid-back, free spirited kind. The wife is not the type about whom I’d ever say, “Oh, you know how she is!” upon hearing about a rigid schedule. If I’m being honest, part of my reaction was probably out of annoyance that they never acknowledged our baby present! But I digress…

I recently happened upon an online discussion with a similar theme. The topic was taking trips with friends, when said friends don’t have young children and you do—is it a good idea? On the one hand, I think vacations are a great way to spend quality time with close friends who you may not have as much time for after you become parents. However, even the nicest people can sometimes be clueless about the needs of children. Kids can be messy. They can be grouchy. They need to sleep at certain times under certain conditions. Ditto for eating meals. Children can’t be ignored or forced to entertain themselves because a group of adults wants to drink and talk!

I don’t know about vacationing with non-parents unless they exceedingly understanding people. I consider myself a sweet and empathetic gal, but before I had my Haley, I was clueless! I didn’t mean to be; it was just the ignorant bliss of being childless. You think you know what it means to be responsible and self-sacrificing, but you just don’t. I find myself apologizing to my close friend, asking if I ever behaved in a selfish or intolerant manner when she was raising her infant. She assures me I was fabulous, but I have my doubts. Well, when you know better, you do better. And now I know.