Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Over the weekend, Haley and I made Valentines for all of the children in her class. It was a fun experience and a learning opportunity as Haley read and wrote all of her classmates’ names. She loved the Shopkins valentines I chose (thank goodness!) and figuring out which picture and message was just right for each friend.

Even though it was an enjoyable activity, it was a lot of work for a five year old. Haley used scissors to cut, glue to paste, markers to write, and stickers to stick. There were several steps to completing each card—and there are 25 kids in her class. I was really proud that Haley sat still and focused for as long as it took to get the job done.

I’m looking forward to when Haley hands out the Valentines this week. I know she will be really proud of her hard work and for her friends to see what a cute job she did. I’m sure she’ll also receive a lot of cards and candy, too!

I know people like to say Valentine’s Day is a manufactured holiday, and I get it, but I’m also a big fan of any excuse to inject happiness and fun into the lives of young ones. And to celebrate all of the love in our lives.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Schools are closed here in our nation’s capital as we usher in a new administration and await what these next days, weeks, and months will bring.  As much as I would like to isolate Rory and Charlotte from the rancor and divisiveness that has permeated the news cycle in the past months, as those of us in urban bubbles lick our wounds and wonder if this is all a dream from which we will soon awake or perhaps some innovative reality show in which we have all been cast, I intend to show them both the days events from the comfort of our home and the safety of our own couch.

Charlotte, I am certain, will spend all of five minutes (if that) before insisting that one of the two of us assist her in baking, clothing her baby, or otherwise catering to her demands.

Rory, however, may be more interested.  Consistent with my remarks in September, my aim is to use the day as a lesson in civics–a foundational discussion on the peaceful transition of power, and a focus on the institutions that our founders have created for us.  I will resist the urge to sour his young mind with my real views, or my true fears.  I will, instead, encourage him to join me in watching the pageantry and speak with him about the great responsibility that rests in all people in a government of the people, by the people, and for the people.  We’ll see how long it lasts before he asks me how this all relates to the Rebel Alliance or Emperor Palpatine (his most recent obsession).  And I will, again, resist.

Parenting, after all, is a constant exercise in framing reality in a way that is accessible and understandable to the youthful audience.  It does him no good to lament the future of American politics or regale him with my thoughts on how we are living in the thick of the factionalism predicted all too well in Federalist No. 10.  We cannot control the times at which we are forced to teach our children hard lessons.  We do not hold that kind of power as parents.  Deaths, disappointments, bad days, or hard losses.  They happen.  Try as we may to shield them, I view my job as a parent as filtering those lessons through an age-appropriate, yet honest, lens.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I love the way having children has forced me to enjoy all holidays. Before, I might have had all the best intentions of cooking, decorating and celebrating to the extreme, but I’d rarely carry them out. Although I may not always achieve holiday magic perfection, I now try my best to give my kids a fun experience each time.

The local nurseries here hold fall festivals in October, and at Haley’s insistence, we’ve been to the one nearest us twice so far. She loves the haunted house, the petting zoo, and the pumpkin patch. It was truly adorable to see Haley guiding her little brother, making sure he didn’t miss a thing.

We brought home a pumpkin from the patch and the kids were so excited about carving it. We dug out all the pumpkin “goop”, but it got too late to carve so we decided to wait until the next day. By then, the entire inside of the pumpkin was covered in mold! Oh well. Best laid plans. This just gives Haley an excuse to visit the nursery yet again.

Obviously, parenting is very hard at times, but it’s fun, too! We want to give our children the best life, but we should also appreciate the life they give us.

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
Tate is in first grade this year. He is enjoying each day and learning new things. He gets off the bus and can’t wait to tell me what he did at school or explain what craft he made that is in his hand at the time. It usually takes up our entire walk home, and I can’t get a word in edgewise. I love every minute!

When Tate was in full day Kindergarten, there was a nap/rest time after lunch. Tate took full advantage of those thirty minutes last year. If he fell asleep or just took a break, lying down recharged him. I know he misses his rest period this year. He gets up early and goes strong all day. But if you add in soccer practice or an illness, it can really wipe him out.

Tate’s exhaustion leads to meltdowns, which he’s perfected over the last few months. It’s extremely frustrating for me to keep control and stay consistent when he falls apart while doing homework. I know the main trigger is exhaustion, and a part of me feels badly for him. I can see in his eyes and hear in his cry how tired he is.

As a single parent most days, it’s hard to get one child to soccer practice and home at a reasonable hour so both kids can get sufficient sleep. I want my kids to participate in sports, but also get enough rest. Finding that balance is tricky. I do my best to keep the bedtime routine moving along on busy nights. It isn’t always an easy task. By the time Tate crawls into bed he is out cold. Every school morning I drag him out of bed wishing the alarm hadn’t gone off yet, but he manages to wake up early every weekend. One day we’ll be all able to sleep in on the weekend.

I hope over the next couple weeks Tate can figure out how to gain control, even when he’s tired. It’s hard for me sometimes as an adult, so I know it won’t happen overnight, but just one day of sheer happiness in the evenings would be a great start.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Haley starts Kindergarten this week, and she couldn’t be more excited. I’m excited for her, too, and also in complete disbelief that this day has come. But I know she’s ready. And after a long summer of no camp, she’s more than ready to play with kids her own age—no offense, Hudson.

She’s got everything she feels she needs for a great start— a new haircut, a new lunchbox and a new outfit. She’s totally confident she will have a ton of new friends by the end of the first day—what I wouldn’t give for her self-assuredness!

There’s so much talk about how “Kindergarten isn’t what it used to be.” I have to admit I’m a little nervous to find out what the new paradigm entails. But Haley will face it with gusto, and so shall I. I’ve heard good things about the teacher she’s been assigned to, and the Kindergarten classrooms I saw are colorful, organized and cheerful.

I’m looking forward to a great school year, and wish for the same for all of you!

From Friday Mom – Erin:
It happened this week.  

The moment you look at your toddler and they are no longer baby-faced and, instead, have morphed into this little “big” kid.  As if through a stitch in time, you see a glimpse of their much older selves.

Charlotte has always acted beyond her years. Whether in running, feeding, talking, telling us what she wants, etc.  Now she is stringing together whole sentences, proclaiming “No” with all the sound and fury of a 2-2.5 year old, and keeping us on our toes.  So, yesterday, when she adorned her new sneakers and insisted upon putting on her jean-jacket despite the 70-degree temperature, and flashed me her devilish grin, I saw a little elementary schooler look back at me.   I paused.  Briefly.  Then went back to chasing her down to keep her from tearing those new shoes off for the third time so that we could get out the door and head to daycare.

The oldest and most annoying cliche I heard when pregnant with BOTH children and that I continue to hear from friends and colleagues with children of varying ages is a variant on “Don’t Blink.”  I still find it over-used and annoying, as if to minimize the 1,000 mph days involved in full-time jobs and parenting two small kiddos.  Those days feel so slow and yet too fast all at once.

But.  It’s true.  

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Rory has been watching the Olympics this week and loves it.  So far his favorites are men’s gymnastics and men’s synchronized diving.  But he loves it all.  We’ve watched cycling, swimming, water polo, a little beach volleyball, and even a little air rifle.  We’ve been taping the coverage ourselves each evening, and then keeping the footage for Rory to skim through the next evening.  I’ve been working late this week and missed a few of them, but when I arrived home tonight, I had a chance to watch a few swim races with him.

He is definitely fascinated by it, and likes sharing what he knows about each of the sports.  Sometimes he asks quizzical questions and other times he simply stares entranced.  And he loves pointing out the American flag and cheering for the USA.

I am sure Rory will take to some competitive sport in the future.  We’re not sure which, and we don’t really care.  But I can’t help wonder, while watching old home movies from some of the swimmers and other sports, what olympic dreams he may harbor in his youth, and what we’ll do as his parents to foster those.  I’m not saying I WANT to make him want that, I just want to be sure that if he dreams big, I’m ready to give him all I can to achieve those dreams.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, what your beliefs are, and what you believe the fundamental purpose of government ought to be, I have a theory regarding how each and every one of those beliefs shifts to some degree when you become a parent.  You stop thinking about how your choices in the polling booth will impact you, individually, and pivot to wondering how those choices will impact your children and your children’s children.

Having spent the last two weeks with my eyes glued to both parties’ national conventions, weighing our options, and listening to the inspiring words of the first lady discussing the promise this country holds for our children, I have found myself wondering how exactly I will handle explaining the concept of democracy to our children from an educational perspective.  As one who has an admittedly nerdy affinity for our founding fathers and a love of the American experiment that would rival that of Alexis de Tocqueville, I take for granted that my children will simply have to adore and admire our republican democracy in the same manner that I do.

Teaching children the privilege of having a voice, of having opportunity, of living in a country where one’s potential is limited only by the breadth of our dreams and our willingness to put strong foundations under them is, to me, a parent’s greatest civic duty.  As this election cycle pushes into high gear and the political noise increases from a steady din to an overwhelming roar, I find myself wondering how, precisely, to introduce these concepts to the two young minds fast asleep upstairs as I craft this post.

Rory and Charlotte are still too young to understand it.  And, frankly, there are parts of the partisan rancor of late that I would prefer that they never have to see. But, by the same token, as they grow up, I look forward to sharing with them my love of country and service.  I hope to not only teach them, but show them, the importance of giving back to our communities.  I hope to raise children who recognize the value of asking not “what’s in it for me,” but, instead, “how can I help.”  And I hope to be able to teach them by not only words, but by example.

This election cycle, I’ll take a slightly more subtle tack and start by vowing to teach them, slowly and incrementally, the importance of compromise, the strength of collective action in sight of a common goal, and the great privilege of the very freedoms that make this nation so great.  To show them the importance of giving back in your community, of serving others, and striving– whatever the context– to leave every place you reside a little bit better than it was when you arrived.

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
We moved into our new house roughly two weeks ago. It was bizarre at first. It sort of felt like we were on vacation. Now that we’ve slept in our own beds for several nights, it is beginning to feel more like home.

Jack and Tate are acclimating to the move wonderfully. Tate, our social butterfly, is getting off to a great start. He has no problem speaking to anyone. Our next-door neighbors have two boys that are about the same age as Tate, and he loves the novelty of daily (sometimes hourly) play dates. Jack is more shy, but has made friends, especially after I helped him introduce himself to the other neighborhood kids. I meet new neighbors daily on our evening walks and trips to the swimming pool. My husband and I are very happy with our choice of neighborhood after meeting so many friendly people and children galore.

Our boxes are unpacked, but the house is still disorganized. I have to remind myself that there is no rush to get it all set up. Nobody is going to inspect our home. It is more important that we spend time familiarizing ourselves with our new town, and making sure Jack and Tate feel comfortable. My husband and I are happy to say we’re finally home, and we look forward to raising our children here for years to come.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:

Now that Haley is five, I’m noticing many new developments in her behavior. She is more patient that she used to be. She listens a bit better. She retains more information when something is being explained to her, and she understands more complicated details. She is more curious—asking deeper questions about space, prehistoric animals and history. Her baby-like drawl is slowly being replaced by big kid pronunciations. She waits a bit longer than she used to start whining when we’re running (what feels like) an endless errand. 

Don’t get me wrong. We still have our challenges. I wouldn’t call it “talking back,” but Haley is increasingly creative when defending herself in the face of some unfair rule. She knows how to open the front door with the use of a stool, and has become emboldened enough to actually do it. She can also be a bit too forceful with her brother when he frustrates her. Ironically, Haley is learning a lot about what it takes to deal with a little one!

I have to say, I enjoy this phase. It’s amusing to see what Haley will come up with next. I wouldn’t say ‘I hate the baby phase” like so many other do, but I don’t enjoy the constant anxiety of caring for a little person who has no way to express herself and faces actual danger pretty regularly. I let more roll off my back these days. If Haley can be a bit sassy, she still has a great heart, is polite and loving. It’s such a joy to keep experience the person she’s becoming.