Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
Tomorrow morning, I will drop Tate off at preschool for the final time. This is a big milestone for both of us. I’m not sure what kind of emotional state I’ll be in, but I do know I’m very proud of his development both academically and socially over the last three years. He’s gained a wealth of knowledge, and I owe a big part of it to his wonderful teachers. He still has some hurdles to overcome, but with time I’m hoping he’ll succeed.

When Tate started preschool three years ago, he was very excited. However, a new setting, new people, new toys, new schedule, new rules, and no mommy nearby for a few hours each morning was overwhelming for him at first. He dug through the toy bins every morning when I dropped him off, but he always looked to make sure I was present. After the first week, he didn’t care if I stayed or if I left. He was enjoying school. He was never ready to leave when I picked him up from school. That was very reassuring to me. I knew he was happy, and I knew my husband and I had made the right decision by putting him in a loving and fun school environment.

Last week, the preschool held their end of year program. The graduation ceremony followed and was tear jerking. The class slideshow featured each student. I shed a few tears when Tate came on the screen. I can’t imagine what I’ll be like at high school and college graduations. It was bittersweet seeing pictures of him engaged and having fun in circle time, at his desk writing, holiday parties, and fully covered in paint. I’m so happy for him to move on and grow, but I’m sad to know this phase of life has come to an end.

A new adventure will start next school year for Tate and a new milestone for me, as well. For now, I’m enjoying every minute this summer with both of my boys. It’s hard to believe I’ll have TWO kids in elementary school next year.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Cookies packed for lunch deemed unacceptable. An inspiring and historic three-day absence ruled unexcused. A floor-length sundress called inappropriate—for a five year old.

The stories I have seen recently in the media worry me. I understand school districts are tasked with challenging directives, with many stakeholders involved, and a lot riding on their success. But as a person who relishes individual freedoms and as a parent who feels parenting decisions should be private, I can’t help but be concerned about the school years ahead.

Haley is starting pre-kindergarten this fall. So far, I have had a lot of control over what she eats, wears, and does with her time. That’s all about to change. In the blink of an eye, we’ll be beholden to an outside authority. I have never been much of a rule follower—and my husband, not at all—so I think our family will have a tough time with these changes. I’m concerned we will not handle them well. I think there’s even a chance we’ll opt out—not due to quality, but due to the philosophy of the education system.

It remains to be seen what Haley’s school will be like. I want to be part of a school community; I never imagined myself as a homeschooler. What I’m hoping is that we will come to find that our school has teachers we love, administrators we trust, parents who participate, and enough common sense to go around.

My Dearest Charlotte:

This upcoming Tuesday morning I will be putting on my work clothes, packing up my briefcase, and heading out the door with your brother for school and work. You will stay behind in your grandmother’s capable hands while I return to work, and you will be spending your days laughing and cooing at her. I’ll return each evening for hugs, snuggles, bath-time, and bedtime. And each day we will begin the dance again—a carefully orchestrated attempt to get out the door and home from work all in time to maximize the few moments I’ll spend with you each day.

Later in the month, you’ll spend your days with Daddy, as well. Perhaps he’ll be the one to see you roll over for the first time, or to become more consistent with your adorable belly laughs. You’ll gobble up bottles and giggle away. And, if I am lucky, he’ll capture some videos to share.

You and your brother will never know anything other than life with two working parents. Come June, you will join him in daycare, and you’ll join us as we embark on the daily adventure to school. I’ll drop you off with your caring teachers and you’ll get to experience a whole new world of stimulation and experiences.

Our “normal” is and will remain a sort of organized chaos: daily checklists, bags and lunches to pack, cups to wash, and bottles to prepare. While sometimes it may seem as though your parents are moving in a constant blur to prepare for the next thing, please know that we love you more than you can possibly imagine. Each day that we are away from you, we are looking forward to the next time we can hold you or witness your latest trick. It isn’t easy, and it isn’t perfect, but so little ever is.

It is my hope that, some day, many years from now, should you have children and choose to make such a similar return to your own office or career, you won’t be wracked with the same guilt or doubt that I am facing. Perhaps society will have stopped its constant focus on women “having it all,” and you will be comfortable with your choice. But, God forbid, if the doubt hits you too, I’ll let you in on my little secret for getting through: consider the hurt in your heart mere confirmation you care deeply and worry to your core. Because that, quite simply, is what any mom does.

All my love,
Mommy

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
Last week, our elementary school held their open house for prospective students. Tate has been to the school for various events for his brother, but I wanted to make this a special night for him, since he’ll be entering Kindergarten in the fall.

Our whole family took a tour of the school, met with teachers, and asked some questions. Tate was very curious about everything. He inquired about learning how to get around and know where to go, as well as what books he could check out. There were lots of other questions, but these stuck out in my mind. He was very intrigued at the new school, but clenched my hand tightly as we walked around.

The evening was very emotional for me. I had similar feelings when I toured the school with Jack three years ago. I remember thinking “how can it be time for kindergarten?” Those same thoughts ran through my mind with Tate last week. This is my baby about to enter Kindergarten. This is my little guy who was just waddling around with his stuffed animal tucked under his arm. This was my little peanut that couldn’t go to bed without his pacifier, and wanted to be rocked to sleep.  Those days seem like yesterday.

Soon, Tate will be starting his own academic career. He’ll be learning a plethora of new things, meet new people and quickly learn how fun homework is. I’m confident he’ll do well. I’m sure it will be a hard transition for both of us. This one-hour tour of the school made me realize how quickly time passes.  I’m sure I’ll be emotional on Tate’s first day of Kindergarten, but until then lots of play and snuggles will be had.

From Friday Mom  – Erin:
I am pleased to announce the arrival of our newest addition, Charlotte Ann, who entered the world this past Tuesday afternoon and has been keeping us hopping ever since. We have only had a few short days with us so far, but we arrived home yesterday afternoon and are getting used to things slowly but surely.

So far, Rory is not entirely certain what to think of his new baby sister. I think he is angry with me, but has also shown signs of complete normalcy. Like snuggling with me and reading a book while I nursed and reading stories together at bedtime. I am anxious and intrigued to see how the four of us fair this weekend when we spend our first full days together. I am sure it will be the first of many adventures as a family of four.

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
After 12+ years of military service, my husband and I made the decision to get out of the Navy and off of active duty. He landed a job as a pilot with a major airline and starts his training this week. The boys and I are very happy for him and looking forward to this new way of life.

Although he has resigned from active duty, he will still be attached to the Navy Reserve Unit with his old squadron here in Mississippi. He can still fly for the Navy, part time, and enjoy the nice military benefits.

Once our friends learned my husband has new job, they immediately asked when and where we would be moving. I would love to move right away, but it looks like we’ll stay put for a while, making our transition to this new life a little easier. We like our school district and we want to minimize the impact on our children. We want to do as much research as possible before we relocate because it will possibly be the last move we do until the boys are in college. We are trying to avoid rushing and risk having to move again.

My husband has done several deployments away from us before, but not in recent years. Now he will be traveling extensively again with his new job. The adjustment with him being away is going to be tough – along with the demands of being a single parent for weeks at a time, but I’m up for the challenge. Face time will be our best friend. The boys and I look forward to boarding our first flight with, “First Officer Daddy.” The world is our playground.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
My fabulous mother-in-law came to stay with us and lend support as we welcomed the new baby into our home. Her help was invaluable. She took care of Haley when I needed to focus on the baby. She watched both kids skillfully while I caught up on sleep in the mornings. She did endless dishes and loads of laundry—it was so nice not to have to worry about those household tasks. Her presence made the daunting “new normal” manageable. I am so grateful for her help.

However, she couldn’t stay forever, and so today is my first day with the two kids on my own. My husband has a long day of work, and Haley doesn’t have preschool today, so it’s truly my orientation to being a mom of two. I’m apprehensive but hopeful. I know there will be challenges, but trust that every day will get a little easier as I figure things out.

It will be an adjustment for all three of us. Haley will have to come to terms with another kid being here permanently. Hudson will have to wait here and there to get his milk or have his diaper changed. I will have to stay calm and be patient with my kids, while caring for them the best I can. I feel like I’m starting a new chapter in my life, and I’m nervous and excited at the same time. Wish me luck!

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Rory is going to be a big brother come January. We’ve clearly known for a while now, but we just learned yesterday that we’re having a little girl. Given all that we’ve had going on over the past five months, the baby has taken a bit of a back seat to moving logistics, unpacking, and decorating. Now that we know what we’re having, however, it somehow seems much more real. And she has taken center stage in my mind.

Much like Monday Mom, I am still processing how much becoming a family of four will upend our reasonably stable family. Though life with Rory is constantly changing, we seem to be hitting our parenting stride just in time to throw it into total chaos once more.  My mind races to potty training a two year old while breastfeeding an infant, keeping the baby healthy while her older brother comes home from daycare with all the germs of the winter cold and flu season, figuring out how to manage two different bed and bath time routines, and all the while trying to find time for mommy and daddy to not go completely insane.

Our mantra with Rory, as I have said before, was that children have been growing up in spite of their parents for centuries.  In the overwhelmed moments, I try to remind myself that many of those children had siblings too.  Whether it means having to divide and conquer more often, or simply committing to plenty more trial end error– likely both– I am sure the rewards of multiple children will be exponentially greater.  But I’m sure I’ll have plenty to share as we embark on this next crazy adventure.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
By the time this post goes live, we will be directing movers around our tiny house and loading up a twenty-five foot truck to move three miles away. We bought a bigger house for a number of reasons. First, so that Rory could have more room to play and his future siblings would have space as well. We also wanted a place where visiting guests could have a room of their own and be more comfortable for longer stays with us. Finally, we wanted a house in a better school district that would eliminate the potential need to send our children to private schools. Fortunately, we found precisely such a place after a couple months of looking. And, although we weren’t entirely certain when we started the process whether we’d move this year or next, we decided to jump in with both feet and see how it all worked out.

This week has been chaotic to say the least. We arrived home from vacation late in the day on Saturday and then spent the majority of the day on Sunday at the new house painting Rory’s new bedroom. It was very important to us to have his room set up as quickly as possible after moving in so that it would feel like home to him quickly. Sure, we probably won’t have everything perfectly set up by the end of the day today, but at least the color will be the same, and all of his toys will be there, as well (or at least the ones we manage to get unpacked before he comes home from daycare).

We’ve been doubly nervous given the fact that Rory has been undergoing transitions at daycare, as well. Fortunately, he seems to have really turned a corner at daycare this week and is finally starting to feel at home in his new classroom. I’m tremendously glad to see it, because I feel like turning his world upside down and moving to a new house would be even harder if he weren’t comfortable at school, either.

It is sad to think that Rory may not really remember the tiny house we are leaving, where we brought him home from the hospital and where we truly became a family. We’re planning to bring him back before we turn over the keys to the old house so that we can all say a proper farewell. At the same time, it’s fun to think about this new house as the place where Rory will likely have his earliest memories. It’s those kinds of thoughts that make the craziness of the past 72 hours so much more worthwhile.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Rory starts transitioning to his new classroom at daycare next week. I met with his current teacher, his new head teacher, and his new primary teacher on Monday morning to discuss the transition. I was pleased to see that they approach transition in such a structured manner, but I definitely have to say I’m nervous about the switch.

Rory is moving up to the younger toddler room, which ranges in age from 18 months to 2.5 years old. He’s in the absolutely correct cohort, so I am not worried about his readiness for the classroom. I’m sure he’ll thrive with the new activities they have in his new room, including a lot more opportunities for stimulation and a lot more focus on verbal development and vocalization. (They’ll even be starting Spanish come September!)

What I am concerned about is his overall comfort level with his new teachers. Rory is extremely attached to his current “primary” teacher (each of the kids is assigned to a single teacher who has primary responsibility for filling out the child’s daily report sheet, learning the child’s likes, dislikes, etc, and generally being in tune with the child’s needs as best as possible). Rory has had the good fortune of being paired with the head teacher in his current classroom– a darling woman with grandchildren of her own who has been working at the center for over twenty years. Needless to say, we trust her deeply and have loved getting to know her and watching her bond with Rory develop. We’re very sad to let her go.

Rory’s new “primary” is new to his new classroom and had previously been a “floater” (meaning that she worked in multiple classrooms throughout the day). She seems nice enough, and the head teacher is great, as well, but I didn’t have the same warm and fuzzy feeling I did when I met his current teacher. I know that some of that will come with time. And I also remember thinking that his current teacher was a little flighty when we first met, so I am sure that I will adjust eventually, as well. I just hope that Rory’s transition goes more smoothly and that he has fun with his new classmates. I’m sure he’ll adjust well enough, and I know he’ll be doubly excited when his other friends join him in their new classroom in August.

Frankly, I’m not certain which of the two of us will have a harder time with the change, but you can be certain I’ll keep you all updated.