Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I felt morning light pouring into my room, but was optimistically hoping for a little more weekend shut-eye when I heard an adorable, familiar voice announce clearly, “I’m going to China today.” Now kids say all sorts of cockamamie things, but sometimes you just know they’re dead serious. So it took me a few moments to make sense of the declaration. Apparently, Haley’s dad told her that they were going on adventure—a subway ride (a treat within itself) to Chinatown, here in New York City.

I was jealous because I knew that I would be staying home with the baby. Winter has not yet left the party in this area, and Chinatown is an all-day, outdoor excursion involving a ton of walking. But I figured Hudson would take a good nap like he does every afternoon, which would give me a chance to clean up and do some organizing, if nothing else.

Of course that didn’t happen. Hudson refused to nap and squawked angrily whenever I tried to put him down to get something done. I accepted this and spend a good chunk of the afternoon nursing him while watching a movie. Sounds relaxing, but there’s something particularly frustrating about being prevented from fulfilling simple household tasks you just want to get over with. Although I spent most of the time sitting, I was incredibly tired by the end of the day.

It’s sometimes hard to predict how a day is going to go when you have kids. Despite planning, resolve and the best of intentions, things are going to unfold the way they do, and you have to go with the flow. And you have to be willing to take one for the team. Parents often employ the tactic of man-to-man coverage, so your assignment might not be the most riveting. Yet each age group has its own advantages, so it’s wise to look the bright side. As the days get longer and warmer, I’m determined to strap the baby into the carrier and have him nap on the go, so we can enjoy more adventures all together.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
When Haley was a few months old, we instituted a nighttime routine to get her prepped for sleep. Each night, we gave her a massage and bath, put her pajamas on her, sang her the same song, and I nursed her before she went into the crib. It was a great way to signal to her that the day was winding down. It was good for our whole household, actually. We love our kids, but it’s often comforting to know that the chaos will in fact end at some point! I think most parents can relate to that.

Unfortunately, things have been a little different with number two. I had had a preconceived notion of what bedtime would be with children, plural. I thought Hudson’s routine would be similar to what Haley’s was as a baby, and that they’d both go to bed around the same time. Well, I’ve now learned that setting a baby and a preschooler who A) wants to help do everything for the little one, B) acts especially nuts closer to bedtime, and C) needs her own bath, teeth brushing, story time, etc. is the opposite of a calming bath routine.

So I’ve had to let go of my intentions. Hudson has sensitive skin and it being winter, does not get a nightly bath. It’s easier to bathe him during the day. Sometimes I need to let Haley watch a show, alone, while I nurse him before bed, which is not at all what I intended. While her antics entertain him, they are not conducive to him settling down for the night. I find myself whispering a lot, trying to speed things along, and feeling anxious that one will wake the other up, depending on who went down first, rather enjoying their cuddliness and bonding as much as I’d like.

As with every other recent challenge, I’m reminding myself to be patient. All of these phases are fleeting, Hudson is still very young, and Haley is getting more mature and—knock on wood—easier to deal with each day. I’m sure a more functional routine will develop over time. And that there will be many more leisurely cuddles in my future.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Charlotte is now a little over two weeks old, and we are still working on adjusting around here. Unfortunately, given all of Rory’s illnesses, we’ve been taking a divide-and-conquer approach to parenting, with me taking the lead with Charlotte and my husband taking the lead with Rory. Now, as my mother prepares to head home and we start in on life as a family of four, Rory has become pretty dependent upon his daddy… pretty much to the exclusion of all others.

I had certainly noticed his preference, but it was only when he returned to school on Wednesday of this week and his teachers commented on how much he talked about daddy during the day that we realized we had started down a dangerous path of single parent dependence. I actually picked him up from school today in hopes of giving us some mommy-and-Rory time, but he still asked about daddy much of the way home.

I am hoping that a two-week trend is largely reversible. However, I am also realizing how much of a concerted effort we both will need to make to demonstrate to Rory that mommy and daddy are still a team, and not so easily divided. Part of our new approach will be ensuring that daddy spends time holding and caring for Charlotte, and letting Rory realize that he will need to share both of us with her. The other part will be figuring out ways for Rory to be a “big boy” helper with her little sister, so that he can be involved too. I’m sure we’ll try a number of other approaches as well before we find a silver bullet. And I’m sure I’ll have a number of updates along the way.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Our first week at home with baby Charlotte has been an eventful one.  So far this week, Rory’s daycare has had two weather-related two-hour delayed openings, meaning that I’ve had to take him in because his dad was already at work.  I have been to the pediatrician once with each child, and Rory has stayed home twice from school with a mild fever and strong cough.  Rory’s daddy has been sleeping on the couch most nights to avoid waking the baby up with his piercing cough.  My mother, who has generously agreed to spend a few weeks with us to help out with the new baby, has been helping disinfect and run interference for germs.

We’ve been dividing and conquering to keep the kids as separate as possible in hopes of keeping Charlotte away from whatever delightful virus has stricken Rory and his father.  So far, Rory has been reasonably cooperative in staying away from his little sister.  We’ve had to tell him a little white lie– rather than explain that he is sick and can’t be close to her, we’ve told him that she is sick and that we don’t want him to catch her germs.

Having two kids born in January comes with a certain number of perils– namely: cold weather and lots of germs.  When Rory was born, it was pretty easy to keep him from most infection vectors.  We didn’t really allow anyone who wasn’t perfectly healthy into the house to visit, and we barely left the house for those first few months. Now that Rory is in daycare (and remaining there during the duration of my maternity leave), it is substantially harder to keep the germs from entering the house.  Plus, with an antsy toddler, it is a virtual certainty that we’ll be heading out into public far more often with Charlotte than we did with her brother.

All of this begs the question– is it truly possible to protect our young daughter from her brother’s germs?  Probably not.  Instead, we’ll work on doing the best we can and hope that we can at least defer her first cold for a few more weeks.  Fingers crossed.  Tightly.