Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Regardless of where you fall on the political spectrum, what your beliefs are, and what you believe the fundamental purpose of government ought to be, I have a theory regarding how each and every one of those beliefs shifts to some degree when you become a parent.  You stop thinking about how your choices in the polling booth will impact you, individually, and pivot to wondering how those choices will impact your children and your children’s children.

Having spent the last two weeks with my eyes glued to both parties’ national conventions, weighing our options, and listening to the inspiring words of the first lady discussing the promise this country holds for our children, I have found myself wondering how exactly I will handle explaining the concept of democracy to our children from an educational perspective.  As one who has an admittedly nerdy affinity for our founding fathers and a love of the American experiment that would rival that of Alexis de Tocqueville, I take for granted that my children will simply have to adore and admire our republican democracy in the same manner that I do.

Teaching children the privilege of having a voice, of having opportunity, of living in a country where one’s potential is limited only by the breadth of our dreams and our willingness to put strong foundations under them is, to me, a parent’s greatest civic duty.  As this election cycle pushes into high gear and the political noise increases from a steady din to an overwhelming roar, I find myself wondering how, precisely, to introduce these concepts to the two young minds fast asleep upstairs as I craft this post.

Rory and Charlotte are still too young to understand it.  And, frankly, there are parts of the partisan rancor of late that I would prefer that they never have to see. But, by the same token, as they grow up, I look forward to sharing with them my love of country and service.  I hope to not only teach them, but show them, the importance of giving back to our communities.  I hope to raise children who recognize the value of asking not “what’s in it for me,” but, instead, “how can I help.”  And I hope to be able to teach them by not only words, but by example.

This election cycle, I’ll take a slightly more subtle tack and start by vowing to teach them, slowly and incrementally, the importance of compromise, the strength of collective action in sight of a common goal, and the great privilege of the very freedoms that make this nation so great.  To show them the importance of giving back in your community, of serving others, and striving– whatever the context– to leave every place you reside a little bit better than it was when you arrived.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I was talking with a friend of mine the other day. She’s married and she and her husband have decided to try to have a baby. I’m thrilled for! Like anyone about to embark on a new journey, my friend had questions about parenthood and sought answers from someone who has been around the block and back when it comes to child-rearing, me.

I think I scared her!

I told it to her straight. You love your children like crazy but they also drive you crazy.

Sleepless nights may be totally worth it, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy! That doesn’t mean that your nerves aren’t completely frayed, that you wouldn’t kill for a cup of coffee when you’re nursing and can only have decaf, or that it feels great when you haven’t showered in a few days. It’s just hard.

You’ll second-guess yourself as a mom constantly, and you will always feel that in some way you are failing. You’re not spending enough time with your kids. They are not eating enough vegetables. You should be reading to them more. Even if you feel pretty good about things, wait until you hit the Internet. There’s a message board or a social media app at your fingertips to explain exactly why you’re doing it wrong.

And somehow, in my humble opinion, I believe that having children is the very best thing in the world. The level of difficulty is surpassed by how ridiculously rewarding it is. You may not feel that all the time. There are times when it is a true struggle. But usually, for the most part, you get to witness these amazing creatures becoming fully realized humans with the satisfaction that you created that.

My friend is going to be an extraordinary mom. I can’t wait for her to embark on this amazing journey.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
The day for Charlotte’s surgery has arrived. As I believe I mentioned previously, she was born with a small cyst above her eye that has grown over time. Her doctor recommended at her first birthday appointment that we get it taken care of by eighteen months.

So here we are.

One of the more interesting aspects has been getting Rory prepared for the different routine this morning. We told him all about how Charlotte would be going to the doctor and he’d be going to school. He understood.

We told him they would have to play upstairs because she can’t eat breakfast. He understood.

We told him she’d have a boo boo.  He understood.

He he was still shaken up when I left without him this morning, but I am very proud of my big boy.  Now to tend to the little one and give her extra big snuggles.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
It’s highly likely that any social-media connected mom has at least one friend, possibly more, who shared a viral video by singer Nichole Nordeman entitled “Slow Down” early this week.  As I type, the link has 1.5 Million views.  If you’ve missed it, I suggest that you grab a tissue before you click on the link above.  Whether your own children are in their early toddling stages, teetering on the teenage years, or fully grown, she seems to have struck a chord, literally, with the vast majority of mothers out there who recognize all too soon in this parenting gig just how quickly the days, weeks, months, and  years fly by.

For me, this week and next are classic examples of how quickly the time goes.  I had a work trip this past week, and I leave again early Monday for another one.  Being gone a couple nights at a time isn’t insurmountable, but I am consistently struck by how much Rory and Charlotte seem to have grown even in a few short days.  Perhaps it is the simple fact of being away that causes me to watch them with refreshed eyes upon return, but whatever the reason, I always find that they’ve each picked up some new trick or turn-of-phrase while I am away.  And I am always impressed to witness it upon my return.

Being away also triggers the inevitable guilt of not wanting to “miss out” on the day-to-day at a time in which both kids are changing at such a lightning pace.  I do my best not to dwell on it, but, as I clicked through to my friends’ “share” of the video above, I certainly had damp eyes myself.

So this mother’s day, rather than try too hard to update my Facebook page with temporary mom-focused profile pictures of me and my mom, I am going to do my best to unplug and just be present with my children.  I know I can’t pause time, and I know that they will be grown before I know it.  But perhaps for one day I can pause everything else and just relish being a mom.  Or at least that is the plan.

Happy Mothers’ Day!

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Haley has long, beautiful, straight brown hair. It’s really lovely. That is, it’s lovely when she brushes it. Haley really likes the idea of being glamorous and fashionable, but putting that into practice interests her less. She’s just too busy to sit down and have her hair de-knotted and styled.

If I do convince her to take a moment to tend to her follicles, Haley never regrets the end results. She admires her braids or pigtails in the mirror with a big smile on her face. If I get a bow or headband in there too, it’s that much more adorable. Such is the fun of having a girl.

Hudson has a different process. He “brushes” his hair by taking a toy hairbrush and hitting himself on the head with it. Then he slams the brush to the ground and gives me a toothy grin as if to say, “Damn, I look good!” I can’t argue with that.

Although getting little ones’ hair ready can feel like a chore during the morning rush, it’s actually a task that can be a lot of fun. Don’t get me wrong—I often phone it in. A quick comb through and I’ll say, “sure, you can wear it down today… did you brush your teeth… shoes on!” But when I take the time to do a good job with it, it’s another aspect of my beautiful kids I adore.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Being a parent is hard work—not only mentally, but physically as well! There’s a reason people think of moms as “running after their kids.” It’s literally a huge part of what we do. I’ve accepted that I’m going to feel tired more often than not. But what really irks me is the occasional physical injuries I get in the course of being a mother.

Right now, my upper back is burning. In one localized spot, it sometimes feels like fire. This happened because one night last week, Hudson was up in the middle of the night and inconsolable. I tried, in vain, to rock and bounce him back to sleep. This is why I believe in “Cry-It-Out!” I was trying to be easy on him, because we had just gotten back from travel and he was a little under the weather. Never again, I tell you.

The inescapable truth is, the older our kids get, the older we get too. I just haven’t bounced back from this injury as quickly as I used to. And that’s really annoying, because the demands of parenting haven’t eased up at all! I still have a 15 month old to pick up, wrangle into clothes, and stop from launching himself off of furniture. I’m attempting to rest whenever I can. Hopefully my back will be on the mend soon—at least before something else starts hurting.

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
Every day when I pick up Jack and Tate from school, I look forward to seeing the smiles on their faces when we greet each other at the end of the school day. It’s a little moment that makes my heart skip a beat. I’ve missed their faces all day. I love to hear the excitement about what they loved (or didn’t love) at school that day. It’s a moment we’ve shared almost daily since they started school.

Every night when I put my boys to bed, I look forward to tucking them in and kissing them each on the cheek. They always say “I love you, Mommy, I’ll see you in the morning.” Sweet words I’ll never get sick of hearing.

The other moments that keep me going are when Tate will grab my hand without me telling him to as we cross the street, or when Jack cuddles up next to me when we’re watching a movie. Also, the look of determination the boys convey when they’re learning and exploring new things, and to see the light bulb go off when it all clicks is especially uplifting. These moments are what parenthood is all about.

Over the years, we’ve had our struggles… tantrums, sibling squabbles, and days I just wanted to redo. But, the little moments of apologies, and heartfelt makeup hugs are what kept me in line. I knew I was doing something right, even during a time where I felt like I was failing at motherhood.

At the end of they day, life is fueled by these little moments. No matter how weary or frustrated I feel, I think about these said moments and instantly feel brighter. I’m thankful to share these little moments with my kids. They’ll forever be remembered in my heart.

Wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving with your loved ones!

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
My family is my rock. I can always rely on them for support, especially my husband. They always offer a shoulder to cry on even if it’s via phone or text. They listen to me vent on occasion, and they lift me up when I am down. As a military spouse, times can be very hard. As I’ve mentioned before, I live far away from family, but unlimited talk and text are wonderful little luxuries. I’m so appreciative for everything my family does to help me out.

I have no local relatives, so when I need help picking up the kids or being two places at once, I rely on my trusted network of friends. I have made great friends over the years in the Navy, and now that my kids are in school and sports, I’ve befriended some local families who were generous enough to take me in under their wings and provide an extra hand when needed. I can’t thank them enough.

I’m thankful for the relationships I’ve been blessed with over the years. The support, encouragement, and love my family and friends provide to me is something I value. I hope I give the same back as they give to me.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I know I probably sound a bit silly to some people when I talk about how nervous I am to be apart from Haley, especially to working parents who put their kids in all day care with fantastic results. Haley and I are used to being with one another, no doubt about it. I’m really glad she’s thriving without me, and I love the break we get from each other—but there are limits.

Haley is four and attending pre-kindergarten. I didn’t start full-day school until I was in first grade, so I feel like things moved a bit quickly for her. What amazes me still is the amount of extracurricular activities some of her peers participate in. One of her classmate’s mothers told me about a (somewhat expensive) drama class Haley would just love. Another mom told her daughter that since she had school every day this year, she could only do two extra classes this year—she chose gymnastics and “movement.” The same mom doesn’t work and sends her daughter to After-Care on the days she doesn’t have classes.

I realize I am being judgmental here, but I really wonder, is all this activity good for the kids? Haley is sort of remarkably mature for her age, and even she seems like she’s teetering on the edge of a meltdown after school if we don’t get her home with a snack quickly enough. I don’t know what will come of these classes, but in terms of talents being discovered, I can’t imagine that this early instruction is actually useful. I hate to be a hater, but what about some rest? Time spent with siblings? Dare I say it—watching a TV show while unwinding?

Maybe these parents know what they’re doing. They know their own children, after all. Maybe the kids just adore these activities and they’d be really sad without them. If so, that’s good for them. But I feel like Haley has a lifetime of scheduling ahead of her. For now, I’m happy to give her some time to veg out.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
I still remember the conversation with my father upon learning that Rory was a boy. Though obviously happy to learn that our little nugget looked healthy and well inside the womb, I could detect a slight air of sadness in his voice when we delivered the news of a third grandson. He was plenty diplomatic (in contrast to my late grandmother, bless her heart, who proclaimed how much she wanted a girl for whom she could make smocked dresses), but I could sense his disappointment.

“As a daddy of a daughter, I just wanted Blake to get to experience what I did,” he explained.

I was, admittedly, a daddy’s girl. Not the kind who has tacky t-shirts or bejeweled coffee mugs that proclaim that fact. The kind who share a strong, sometimes silent love, awe, and camaraderie with one another that never goes away (even after my husband took over as the central man in my life).

So you can imagine, then, my excitement when we learned that Charlotte was a girl. My daddy would have a granddaughter to dote upon, and my husband would have a daughter who would wrap him around her little finger.

Watching Charlotte look at her daddy, I cannot wait to see how that relationship develops. Rory already adores his dad, and I am certain Charlotte will too. Just as much, if not more.

Happy Father’s Day, All!!!