Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
It’s so funny when Daylight Savings Time comes around and you hear the famous refrain from parents of young kids: “No extra hour for me!” Springing forward is no picnic either. If you think it’s hard for an adult to adjust to a new time schedule, wait until you see toddlers in action. They just cannot be convinced to go with a new flow. It takes days—sometimes weeks—to get their bodies regulated! I know by now to have low expectations when it comes to adjusting sleep schedules. My biggest headache this time around was dealing with meals.

My kids are grazers to begin with, and they sure love their treats. Throw in a little sleep deprivation and food coming to them when they’re not quite in the mood? They turn into little monsters! They’ve been rejecting any meals of nutritional value. I know it will pass in a few days, but good gracious- it is annoying! I hate “short order” cooking but if I didn’t do it right now, the two of them would be subsisting on mini-muffins and navel oranges. Okay, so it could be worst. And luckily they won’t get scurvy any time soon.

Children are weird little experiments. You learn so much about human nature and in this case, behavioral science, by observing how they handle life. Whereas adults are influenced by societal pressures and tend to operate with (some level of) decorum, kids just do what they’re going to do. And you better keep up.

From Friday Mom – Erin:

Rory has decided he doesn’t particularly care for me lately.

That’s probably an overly harsh characterization. But Daddy is definitely Rory’s parent of choice. What’s odd is that for the first two years of his life, he really looked to me for some of the pivotal parts of his daily routine– getting up, getting breakfast, getting bath, and reading his bedtime story. Now, with the exception of breakfast, Rory is vocal about expressing his preference for his Daddy.

I do my best not to take it personally. After all, many of those tasks fall to Daddy each day out of necessity. For example, I had to work late two different days this week, so Daddy was on solo duty for all of bedtime. Having Rory comfortable with his Daddy taking such a very active role as what is sometimes characterized as the “primary” parent, is a key component to making our daily juggling act work.

But, at the same time, I fear that perhaps my business, task-focused approach has overshadowed my love and affection and makes me come off as less fun, less caring, or otherwise less approachable than his Daddy. I think that is probably reading too far into it, but I have started to try harder at just going with the flow a bit more, even if it means I’m five or ten minutes later to the office than I might have liked.

Negotiating with toddlers is daunting. Combine that with the stress of trying to “have it all,” and you can go nuts. So, as with everything parenting, I am trying to take it in stride with the hopes that “this, too, shall pass.”

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
It’s Wednesday, and the struggle is real. We are halfway through the second week of school, and my children are already asking if it’s Friday yet. Clearly, the newness of a new school year has worn off already. Homework is in abundance, Jack has already had his first tests, and runny noses are present. It’s an adjustment getting back into the routine, or in Tate’s case, learning what the new routine is.

I try to make positive comments when I drop off my carpool crew at school each morning. That little boost of encouragement can’t hurt. I know it helps me get motivated hearing positive words when I’m not always ready to take on the day.

In the mornings, we listen to a kids channel on the radio. They often interview children about topics and the kids find it interesting.  The radio hosts will announce birthdays, play fun songs, tell jokes, and other kid-friendly entertainment.  One day they were talking about “hump day” and my literal child, Tate, was confused and couldn’t understand what that meant.  After a little explanation, he was in the know. So, on the following Wednesday, as I was shouting, “have a good day” to the kids getting out of the van, Tate was  unbuckling his seat belt to get out of the car and he responded with “happy hump day, mom!” He gave me a morning laugh and made my gloomy day much brighter.

It’s the little things that make me a happier mom. I know some days are better than others, and I know, as a parent, I need to keep my kids in line and focused on what is best for them. Starting their day with a positive attitude makes all of us feel better. With that said, happy hump day, all!

From Friday Mom – Erin:
We met with Rory’s teacher this week for our final parent-teacher conference of the year. When you entrust your child’s care and education to a staff of early-childhood educators, you place a tremendous amount of faith in that staff’s ability to monitor and report on your child’s acheivements of various milestones. Setting aside my views on how odd it is to call them “conferences” when the children are still at such a young age, we appreciated the opportunity to hear her views on Rory’s developmental progress.

She reported on his cognitive, emotional, and physical skills and offered a range of thoughts and advice on areas for improvement. One of the areas she highlighted was Rory’s need to be told about a particular activity in advance. The moment she said it, I realized just how accurate she was and just how often I’d seen the same tendencies in my own interactions with Rory.

Rory does not like to be told, abruptly, that it is time to do something he isn’t interested in doing. Instead, he needs advance warning. For example: “Rory, it is time to change your stinky diaper” does not go over well. Instead, “Rory, we’re going to finish this story, and then it will be time to change your diaper” is usually a much safer approach. Unless it is something exciting, like a trip to the playground or a special snack, we try to introduce all transitions with advance warning so that we can reason with him when the time arrives.

The same is true for new experiences or visits from strangers. The kid likes to have a heads-up in advance so that he can prepare himself.

It isn’t a particularly novel concept. Frankly, I appreciate knowing what’s coming next in my own life. I am a stickler for calendaring appointments and carving out time for particular projects. Unexpected visitors and phone calls throw me for a loop and take me out of my comfort zone. I appreciate and thrive on structure and schedules, and Rory is proving to be similar. Building in a little lead time isn’t difficult to do, and the results are well-worth it. Especially when it means the result is a cooperative two-year old!

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I felt morning light pouring into my room, but was optimistically hoping for a little more weekend shut-eye when I heard an adorable, familiar voice announce clearly, “I’m going to China today.” Now kids say all sorts of cockamamie things, but sometimes you just know they’re dead serious. So it took me a few moments to make sense of the declaration. Apparently, Haley’s dad told her that they were going on adventure—a subway ride (a treat within itself) to Chinatown, here in New York City.

I was jealous because I knew that I would be staying home with the baby. Winter has not yet left the party in this area, and Chinatown is an all-day, outdoor excursion involving a ton of walking. But I figured Hudson would take a good nap like he does every afternoon, which would give me a chance to clean up and do some organizing, if nothing else.

Of course that didn’t happen. Hudson refused to nap and squawked angrily whenever I tried to put him down to get something done. I accepted this and spend a good chunk of the afternoon nursing him while watching a movie. Sounds relaxing, but there’s something particularly frustrating about being prevented from fulfilling simple household tasks you just want to get over with. Although I spent most of the time sitting, I was incredibly tired by the end of the day.

It’s sometimes hard to predict how a day is going to go when you have kids. Despite planning, resolve and the best of intentions, things are going to unfold the way they do, and you have to go with the flow. And you have to be willing to take one for the team. Parents often employ the tactic of man-to-man coverage, so your assignment might not be the most riveting. Yet each age group has its own advantages, so it’s wise to look the bright side. As the days get longer and warmer, I’m determined to strap the baby into the carrier and have him nap on the go, so we can enjoy more adventures all together.

From Friday Mom –  Erin:
At some point in the past month or so, Rory decided that he was going to resist just about every part of his morning routine.  We are fairly certain it is simply part of demonstrating his toddler independence, but it has forced us to become very creative in how we get him (and ourselves) dressed, fed, and out the door on time each morning.

When Rory was younger, he would basically follow our lead each morning.  Wake, diaper change, milk, quiet play while mom and dad got dressed, then breakfast with mommy, farewells with daddy, and off to daycare (or “school” as we typically call it).  Now, we are lucky to get him let us change him before he takes off across the upstairs to play in mommy and daddy’s room.  And heaven help us if we try to get him dressed before he is ready.

Most mornings we resort to either distraction (using Sesame Street you tube song videos) or bribery (such as– if you want a yummy cereal bar you’ll have to help mommy put your clothes on).  We haven’t found a silver bullet.  Instead, we are treating it as an exercise in patience and adaptability.  When we get frustrated or agitated, Rory simply gets more obstinate.  So keeping our composure and negotiating with him as best as possible is the only viable approach.

It is definitely a work in progress.  I’ll be certain to let you know how it all shakes out.

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
We live in the Deep South and we are ready for fall. It has been at least 90 degrees for as long as we can remember. It is hot, humid, and unpleasant. It is so hot that my kids can barely stand to play outside. I know when March comes along I’ll be happy to feel the warm sunshine again, but until then I’m ready for jeans and pullovers.

The start of fall has finally brought some cooler, dryer air here in Mississippi. We are taking advantage by playing outside all afternoon and evening. The sand box is getting some use, as well as the boys’ bikes, play set, and every ball we own.

I’m looking forward to fall activities. But our family schedule is getting busier, too. Soccer is in full swing as well as school projects and meetings. My husband is coaching Jack’s soccer team this year, which is a big time commitment for our schedule. I drive my two boys to soccer in a mini-van; I’m officially a “soccer mom.”

If we have time, I still want to go to our favorite pumpkin patch and hike the nearby trails. The boys want to go camping this year, too. I don’t know if we we’ll have time for everything, but I am happy that fall is here and we can enjoy the outdoors again.

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
Last weekend, I got together with a bunch of my girlfriends. In one of our conversations, we discussed getting our kids back in the school groove. Most of my friends are military wives, so our summers usually include travel to visit family in home towns for extended periods of time. It’s a hard adjustment coming back to reality after weeks of family fun for both kids and parents. Some of my friends have strict schedules for their kids, and others seem to make it up as they go. I would say I’m in the middle. I have a plan for my kids, but I can adapt to change.

School has been in session for three weeks and my kids are easing back into the daily routine of meals, school, homework and bedtime. My family thrives on routine. It’s reassuring for the kids to know what’s next in their day, even those tasks they don’t like. It also keeps me focused on my duties for the day and week ahead.

Over the years, our routine has changed for obvious reasons. Now that the boys are a little older, their schedules are more synced.   We all work together to help each other stay organized. We have developed habits that help keep us moving along, especially in the morning. I hope if I can set these habits early in my kids lives, it will only benefit them in the future, as it did for me.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
As we prepare to move our clocks an hour ahead this weekend, I am preparing myself for what the shift in time will do to Rory’s schedule. He consistently goes to bed in the same thirty minute window each night. Likewise, he wakes up in the same thirty minute window each morning.

If I had been thinking about it, I would have tried to start stretching him a bit more each day this week so that the weekend’s transition wouldn’t be as abrupt. Unfortunately, I didn’t even think of it until yesterday, at which point that tactic was already too late.

So, rather than worry about how long it will take for all of us to adjust to our shifted schedules, I am trying to focus, instead, on what more daylight hours each day will mean: longer trips to the park; playing outside after dinner; enjoying the warming (I hope) weather on our family’s deck; coming home from daycare in daylight. As Rory becomes more and more mobile, I know having a little extra light outside while burning off his excess energy will be a welcomed change. As long as I remember to actually change the clocks…

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Our family fell victim to our first full-family stomach virus last weekend. Rory was sent home from daycare on Friday. Daddy took care of him all day and ended up ill himself first thing on Saturday morning. I was on full-time parent duty during the day on Saturday, and then fell ill over night, as well. Luckily, Daddy was feeling much better by Sunday morning, so he was able to take the lead that day.

Thank goodness the fates were on our side in attacking one at a time; otherwise, I have no idea how we would have managed. By the end of the weekend, we all wished we were able to take another day or two to recuperate.

Unfortunately, Rory wasn’t quite well-enough to stay at school on Monday, either. As a result, his Daddy and I juggled daytime duties Monday and Tuesday in an effort to get the little man back to feeling like his own self. Luckily, after calling his teacher on Wednesday morning to confirm her agreement that he sounded improved enough to return, he headed back on Wednesday.

Each time Rory falls ill, we find ourselves questioning our childcare decisions somewhat. After all, if he were home with a sitter, it is far less likely that he would be sick this often. However, by the same token, we know how much he lights up when he arrives at daycare each day and how much he is learning from the highly social environment. Upon his return this week he was running all over the room bouncing with glee at the toys around him. We know how much more at ease we are with the levels of accountability at his school, and we feel comfortable with its glowing reputation. At the end of the day, each of those things were drivers in our decision-making process. So, as inconvenient as it may be some times, we do our best to focus on getting him better, rather than obsess over the “what-ifs” and “what-might-have-beens.”