Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Some days it seems as though Charlotte is well beyond the early-baby stages. She’ll crawl around, engage actively with her surroundings, flail her arms in her best efforts to communicate her wants and desires, and generally act like a little person. She’s largely back to sleeping through the night without waking, and she has started eating more and more solid food. She is fiercely independent, except when she craves affection or is overly tired, at which point she clings to me like silk on a dry January day.

But then there are the random nights during which she cries out like a newborn in a fit of uncontrollable tears or frustration.

I have long since resigned myself–well before Rory was even a year old–to the fact that the few times that you really, truly, need your children to cooperate from a schedule perspective are the precise times that everything will go wrong. On Wednesday of this week, a day during which I was to be presenting on a panel at an all-day bar association conference, Charlotte decided that she would wake up at 4:30 am and demand to be held until finally falling asleep 45 minutes later. She finally nodded off around the time that I am usually getting in the shower. Meaning that my day effectively began at 4:30 am. I slogged through my all day conference and then an evening networking event on adrenaline and caffeine and the gratitude that it was only a single-day affair.

The good thing about second children is that you have the perspective to know that it gets better– that they become more independent, and that, although their needs shift and change and the demands grow greater with time, the sleep deprivation of these early months is in large part short lived. Thank goodness for that!

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Hudson took his first steps a few days ago! It was thrilling. I propped him up, encouraged him, and after a couple of tries, two steps! A few minutes later, we had three. By the time Haley came home from school that afternoon, he was doing six at a time as if to say, “Check me out, Sister!” Haley was so excited and proud. I relished the sweet moment.

Hudson also finally has two teeth poking out of his gums. Haley has gotten into her head that the main point of having teeth is talking. Sure, teeth play a pivotal role in being able to talk, but I find it so funny that that’s her focus. Although Hudson isn’t reciting Shakespeare just yet, his babbling has increased. Lately not only is he giving us lots of “Mamamama” and “Dadadada” but he can say his favorite food: “nana”, also known in English as “banana”.

His new milestones remind me how quickly children develop after age one. It’s also a reminder that he can handle much more. Second children sometimes get lost in the shuffle, but I know I need to take the time to read to him specifically, teach him his body parts, challenge him at the baby gym and playground, etc. I was always on top of these tasks with Haley because it seemed like there was really nothing else to do! One more child has somehow made me exponentially busier. But I need to make the time. At this age, Hudson is a sponge and it’s my job to make sure he has plenty to absorb.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Charlotte is almost three months old now. I blinked and time flew by. I’ve written a lot about her brother lately—about his adjustment to being a big brother, about his toddler tantrums, and about how he keeps himself entertained. Meanwhile, little Charlotte is starting to engage much more actively with the world around her. She’s grasping at toys on her bouncy seat, smiling back at her mother’s silly antics, and coming pretty darn close to a giggle when we play peek-a-boo.

Like the second child she is, she also has perfected sitting patiently and watching. No, she isn’t ALWAYS patient, but she does cooperate most mornings while we wrangle her brother and get him out the door for school. She’ll stare quietly from her bassinet with her eyes locked on me, and her head will follow the voices around the main floor of our house.

Once Rory and his daddy head out the door to school, Charlotte and I begin what is one of my absolutely favorite times of the day. I usually feed her right after they leave if I haven’t done so already. Then, we either play together on her play mat or give Charlotte a chance to do some tummy time on her blanket.

Her eyes always light up at the one-on-one attention, and I get a small glimpse of her personality. From what I can tell so far, she’s pretty easy-going and generally happy. She smiles from ear to ear and coos sweetly when I talk to her, and she loves ceiling fans and bright lights. Although her milestones are measured in much smaller increments than her older brother’s, I’m doing my best to enjoy them and savor all of these little baby moments. Because even though I know she’ll get far more fun as she grows older, this is likely the last time I’ll enjoy these early stages, so I don’t want to wish them away too quickly

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Isn’t it nice to have a relaxing three-day weekend? I wouldn’t know! The last few days may have been fun for Hudson, but for me it just felt like work. As soon as I would clean spit-up off of him and put on a brand-new outfit, he’d have a massive blow out in his diaper. Just as I’d have him calmed down after a fussy fit, his sister would nearly dive on top of him and have him worked up again. Yet he was happy because the vast majority of the time, he was nursing. I don’t know if it’s a developmental “leap” or a growth spurt or what, but the boy is breastfeeding like it’s going out of style.

And that would be fine—I could deal with it all—if I were just getting some sleep. After several blissful weeks of sleeping through the night, Hudson now gets up frequently. I know he doesn’t need to eat every time, but it’s just easier to put him on the breast until he passes out again. Only it’s not that simple. Lately I’ve been so tired that I fall asleep while he’s still in my arms. Fortunately I’ve ensured that he’s secure on all sides when this happens. But what’s crazy is that I’ll sometimes wake up an hour later still holding him! The arrangement’s been a killer on my back.

Yet for all of the difficulties of child rearing—and perhaps this is the difference between raising your second child and your first—I’ve mostly taken it in stride. Despite this venting post, I was actually in a good mood even as I was completing seemingly endless, impossible tasks. I never lost sight of how lucky I am to be the mom of this beautiful, bouncing baby boy. Comparing him with his older sister—who seems like a giant—I’m acutely aware that this time is fleeting. Before I know it, I won’t need to change diapers and clothes and burp and rock him all day long. Maybe I didn’t get to relax but when it comes right down to it, there’s no more meaningful way to spend a weekend.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I have often heard moms say how much they miss the newborn stage or the baby stage of childhood. This is not something I could comprehend. When Haley was an infant, she was absolutely adorable and there was much about taking care of her that I enjoyed, but I also felt incredibly stressed out as a new parent. I always felt like I had no idea what I was doing. If I wasn’t worried about how much she was eating, I worried about how much she was sleeping. If her motor skills flourished, I was concerned about her cognitive skills. I scoured the Internet for information about what’s “normal” for a baby. As time passed, I learned to chill out. Rather than feel overwhelmed, I became more grateful for my healthy, happy child with every passing day—which is not to say that I itched for another one.

The other day I was reading a novel and the characters were enjoying playing with a baby who was just a few months old. The author’s description struck something inside of me. Suddenly I felt a pang. Remembering what it was like to have an infant around combined with Haley acting more like a kid than a baby lately made me suddenly think, “Oh, how nice it would be to have a cute little one again!”

Mere moments later, reality set it. When it comes down to it, I am not ready to have another baby in any way—mentally, physically, financially, or emotionally. But it did feel good to experience that urge. Many of my friends have recently had their second children, and I want to have another one, too. Yet I feel extremely happy in my life with Haley and her father. I’m not ready to stir the pot just yet, but I’m finally starting to imagine how things could change in the future, and just how much I might like it.