Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Happy New Year! 2014 brought a number of changes to our household: a new house, a new job for my husband, a promotion for me, and countless firsts for Rory. January 2015 promises to continue that excitement as we anxiously await the arrival of our baby girl.

We spent our New Year’s Eve like many parents of young children and turned in well before the ball dropped in hopes of getting in a good night’s sleep, even if Rory woke up too early (which he did. . .).

We spent our New Year’s day getting things in order for the new baby– setting up a changing station in our first floor laundry room, adjusting the settings on the infant car seat, and doing extra laundry.  I am getting more and more uncomfortable as my belly grows bigger and bigger. While I know it may be another couple of weeks before baby girl arrives, we are in full nesting mode around here.

We think Rory can sense the impending change. That, combined with his turning two soon, has made for some interesting acting out. I’m hopeful that we will all survive this first month of 2015 and emerge on the other side relatively unscathed.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
Haley continues to be the very typical two-year old. She often behaves defiantly—sometimes out of anger, sometimes for laughs, sometimes just because she can. A fun way she’s been displaying that defiance is by refusing to put her pants back on after using the potty. Her no-pants-dance-party is sort of amusing, but when I want to get on with my day I find myself more quick-tempered than I’d like to admit.

So recently I tried a new approach. Threats of time-out and other punishments did nothing to improve the situation. The last time this happened—by coincidence—Santa called me, just to do a periodic check and find our how Haley was doing! Can you believe that? He asked what you would expect—is Haley behaving and listening—and wanted to go over her Christmas list with me. As Santa and I conversed something even more miraculous happened—Haley put her pants on! Which is lucky, because I was able to give Santa an excellent report and her toy deliveries are still on schedule. Whew!

I hadn’t planned on Santa calling. It’s amazing how resourceful a parent can be during difficult moments. You can’t rely on the same old methods. Your toddler is constantly changing—so you need to as well. I’m psyched that Haley is not only getting into the Christmas spirit, but it’s a source of motivation for her, too. I have heard that some parents think it’s not right to tie Christmas celebrations to behavioral expectations, and I can respect where they’re coming from. But when you’re trying to catch a train, prevent a pot from over-boiling, or just save your sanity, you’ll do what you need to do to get those pants on and move forward. Santa is only trying to help. I’ll take the assist.

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
This morning, much to my consternation, Haley engaged in her usual habit of going through the top drawer of my nightstand. She handed me the ring and necklace I wear every day. I thanked her as she continued to dig through my belongings. To keep her from going through more things, I asked her to hand me my watch, which was in the front of the drawer. Without looking up or missing a beat, Haley said “Coming right up!” I could not stop laughing.

You may not see the humor in this, but it’s just the kind of precocious phrase one doesn’t expect to hear from a toddler. It’s not something that anyone around her ever says. I’m sure she heard it on one of her TV shows. And it’s not the most common thing to say, nor is it clear what it really means. Haley using it correctly marked an improvement in her understanding of the English language. It also shows off her developing personality in a way.

These days Haley is full of opinions and she’s not afraid to voice them. When she wanted to go to the store with her father  – but I told her to eat her lunch first – she calmly replied “Not now; maybe later.” Her determination combined with her penchant for tantrums can make for many tense moments in our house. Luckily, her newfound maturity is also really fun to witness, so things balance out.

While I appreciate Haley’s growing independence, I’m realizing why two-year-old phase is so famously challenging. She knows what she wants, but can’t always express it. When she can express it, she isn’t always able to appreciate or internalize the response she gets. It may seem like when you’re talking to a toddler, you’re talking to a brick wall. But I think toddlers think we’re the brick walls, and they just don’t understand why they can’t get through to us. I’m sure we make no sense and seem so unreasonable at times. How frustrating that there is nothing they can say or do to make us understand! That’s usually when the crying starts.

I’m trying to be patient with the difficulties in communication we face. I only hope that Haley will do the same with me.

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
Tate is quickly approaching the age of two.  So far, he has grown and developed into a wonderful little boy.  His smiles, kisses and “I wuv u’s” all melt my heart.  He lightens up the room with his charming glow and ability to make everyone laugh.  However, along with turning two (soon) comes the “terrible twos” or as I like to say the “trying twos.”

Having already experienced this stage of development with Jack, I can remember feeling very frustrated and never wanted to leave the house.  Before leaving the house, I knew Jack would have a fit being in the stroller, wanting nothing to do with being in his car seat or have a crying fit if not allowed to have all 100 Thomas trains that were hanging on the sales shelf.  It was a trying time, especially for a first time parent.

Tate, on the other hand wears, his heart on his sleeve – and in his voice, in his stamping feet and his crocodile tears.  He is sweet as can be one minute and the next he is screaming at the top of his lungs.  I mean shrieks so loud they are ear piercing and his face turns red.  He insists on doing exactly what you’ve told him not to do (with a huge grin on his face) or he’ll throw himself down on the floor throwing a tantrum if he doesn’t get what he wants.  I know two year olds like to test limits and are curious.  I have no problem letting his curiosity shine.  I want him to learn about everything we deal with on a daily basis. I’m not sure if I feel these trying times are a little worse because I’ve forgotten just how hard it was with Jack, or if my patience is rapidly diminishing, or maybe a little of both.

I’ve read books and articles trying to find the best ways to handle these fits.  The best technique that seems to help at the moment (and with Jack at this age) is distraction.  Offering another toy or taking him outside to play usually calms Tate down to where he can take a deep breath and try to express in words what is wrong.  His demands alternate between frustration and amusement for me.  I know it’s a stage because Jack thankfully grew out of it, but in the midst of the mayhem it can be very hard not to have a tantrum myself.  Please share any other techniques that have worked for you.  I’m sure in a few years I’ll think about these little fits and laugh.  Hopefully Tate will, too.

Tate is quickly approaching the age of two.  So far, he has grown and developed into a wonderful little boy.  His smiles, kisses and “I wuv u’s” all melt my heart.  He lightens up the room with his charming glow and ability to make everyone laugh.  However, along with turning two (soon) comes the “terrible twos”.  I like the term trying twos.

Having already experienced this stage of development with Jack, I can remember feeling very frustrated and never wanted to leave the house.  Before leaving the house, I knew Jack would have a fit being in the stroller, wanting nothing to do with being in his car seat or not allowed to have all 100 Thomas trains that were hanging on the sales shelf.  It was a trying time, especially for a first time parent.

Tate on the other hand wears his heart on his sleeve- and on his voice, on his stamping feet and his crocodile tears.  He is sweet as can be one minute and the next he is screaming at the top of his lungs.  I mean shrieks so loud they are ear piercing and his face turns bright red.  He insists on doing exactly what you’ve told him not to do (with a huge grin on his face) or he’ll throw himself down on the floor throwing a tantrum if he doesn’t get what he wants.  I know two year olds like to test limits and are curious.  I have no problem letting his curiosity shine.  I want him to learn about everything we deal with on a daily basis. I’m not sure if I feel these trying times are a little worse because I’ve forgotten just how hard it was with Jack or if my patience is rapidly diminishing or maybe a little of both.

I’ve read books and articles trying to find the best ways to handle these fits.  The best technique that seems to help at the moment (and with Jack at this age) is distraction.  Offering another toy or taking him outside to play usually calms Tate down to where he can take a deep breath and try to express in words what is wrong.  His demands alternate between frustration and amusement for me.  I know it’s a stage because Jack thankfully grew out of it, but in the midst of the mayhem it can be very hard not to have a tantrum myself.  I’m sure in a few years I’ll think about these little fits and laugh.  Hopefully Tate will, too.