From Friday Mom – Jaime:
So Valentines Day is coming up next week. Andrew’s class is making a special art project with shoe boxes (probably creating “mail boxes”) for all their valentines. They’re having a special ice cream sundae party. (He’s bringing the red juice, because “that’s cool and EVERYONE likes fruit punch!”)
Here’s the thing about Valentines Day… I can’t figure out if I’m doing it right!
Andrew’s first one in daycare was when he was a year old. The kids were all still eating paper – they certainly weren’t into what was ON it, nor were they old enough to safely pop any candy into their mouths. He didn’t do valentines that year. I didn’t think anyone would! But there were a couple parents who did.
The next year, Andrew was out sick. Like for a week. I HAD valentines for his class. But a week later? It seemed a little silly to me for him to bring them in a week after the fact. So we didn’t do them.
So last year, we did Valentines. Andrew picked out special ones for the girls and different ones for the boys. He picked out stickers he thought each kid would like and decorated the envelopes with them. Personally, I thought we were doing really good handwriting each kid’s name on the envelope (instead of doing the generic “to my friend”) and we even did it a whole day in advance!
Yeah… There were kids who did valentines with lollipops attached. Ones who attached ENTIRE BAGGIES of Hersey’s Hugs and Kisses. Ones who had basically a goodie bag of pink (or the far more manly red) pencils, heart shaped pencil sharpeners, lip shaped erasers, plus the obligatory box of candy hearts. Entire sheets of stickers. Handmade valentines, like with glitter and lacy doilies and the whole nine yards.
It made me feel like a total slacker mom with the valentines I had been so happy with only hours before.
So Andrew’s at an age now where he looks at what the other kids are doing. “Mommy! These five friends play soccer, but THEY do it at school. And I don’t.” Or “Mommy. Only I get to do ice skating. No other friends get to ice skate. Except Will, but he’s not from school.”
I don’t want him to look at everyone’s valentines and think HIS aren’t good enough because they didn’t come with candy. But, quite frankly, my kid doesn’t NEED any of that candy! I have a hard enough time keeping him away from candy when Hubby and I are the only ones bringing it into the house. Why should I give it to other kids when I don’t really even want my own to have it? Just as karmic payback for getting my kid tanked up on sugar?
I don’t think so…
Going on my fifth valentines day as a mom, I still haven’t figured out how to do it right. If there is a “right” way to do it… I was talking to another mom at work, who happens to be my boss, about this. She laughed at me. Her response? “Jaime! We work so hard, we’re lucky that we even realize it’s valentines day! I thought I was doing good anytime I REMEMBERED to buy valentines!”
Maybe she’s right… I certainly had to set a reminder in my phone to tell me to pick up that very important red juice for the party and to bring in the valentines!
Have a great weekend everyone. And have a happy Valentines Day next week with the ones you love.
