Posts Tagged ‘work and home’

Playing Nice in the Sandbox

Friday, November 30th, 2012

I remember thinking far too often in law school that being a 1L – a first year law student – too closely resembled reverting back to elementary school. Suddenly, any guy I walked down the hallway with was a secret boyfriend. (I was engaged at the time.) Wearing form-fitting clothing was somehow a sign of being a stripper. (Okay, the leather pants were perhaps a little risque for the bars of Concord, NH, but still!) And speaking to someone of the opposite sex, of course, meant we were in LUV. (Yeah…riiiiight)

So we graduate from law school, pass the bar and get our first job as law clerks or big bad lawyers. And you’d think with all those years of schooling and those fancy degrees on the wall, we’d finally learned the art of growing up.

Unfortunately that’s not the case with all of us who have that fancy “,Esq.” after our names…

As a female attorney, I have to deal with nonsense that my male counterparts never have to encounter. I’m sure that upon seeing a young MALE attorney walk into a room to take a deposition, no one has ever loudly told their client, “HA! They sent a little boy to do a MAN’s job.” I have male adversaries who insist on calling me “sweetie,” “honey” and, my personal favorite, “dearie.” UGH! Really? Do you pick up the phone and call your male adversaries “bro,” “dude” or “my man”?

I’ve been engaged in what can only be described as a day long grudge match (I’ve cleaned that up considerably) between two law firms. My innocent request for an update on a case spiraled out of control due to the arrogance of another attorney who decided to insult not only me, but my firm and everyone in it. He’s continuing to do so – in front of the client – as I write this.

And I’m still baffled how this even happened… We represent the same client. In the same case. We HAVE TO work together. So why turn this into something so ugly so unnecessarily?

Also as I write this post, I’m watching my son playing a board game with Hubby. Andrew is losing. He’s not taking it well. In fact, he’s whining and pouting. In a couple minutes, I anticipate either the fake tears or some major foot stomping…

Yes, he’s still 4. But we’ve tried to teach him better. To know that winning is REAL nice, but it’s not everything. That he should play fair and not cheat so that when he DOES win, it’s because HE did well – not because he was sneakier than the other guy. To shake the other team’s hands and say “good game” at the end of a crushing defeat instead of bragging…because he will see them again and they will remember how he handled the situation…

And I sincerely hope that these lessons, even though he rolls his eyes at them, are sinking in at least a little bit. He should be better than the guys I’ve been dealing with all day. We’ve certainly raised him that way…

Have a good weekend everyone. And try to play nice in the sandbox with the other kids, even the mean ones who may not really deserve it…