Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

It is official! Brady is going to start preschool in the fall. I know most people send their children nowadays around 3 years old. But I taught him at home until now. I “tried” to find the right preschool starting when he was about 18 months old. We have close to 50 preschools (or more) within a 10 minute drive. Go down main street in our town and you will see about 6-8 nursery schools at various churches between the local grocery store and the Dairy Queen! Now I haven’t toured all 50, but I did tour at least half of those. None ever met my expectations. Some just weren’t clean enough, some didn’t seem safe, some weren’t “kid friendly,” others just seemed too rigorous, and still others just didn’t feel like the right fit for Brady.

But now, I finally found a place that I think Brady (and I) will both approve of and enjoy. It is child centered and 100% play-based. I know that because I am a teacher, I should want an academic preschool. But you know what? I honestly think kids need to be kids. We push them so hard, at 4 years old, Brady is going to play to learn! This facility was extremely safe: all doors locked, playground completely fenced in, ID required for pick-up, etc. The classroom wasn’t clean, instead the tables were covered with paint from a project the kids just did (Brady and I did a similar project last year; we found it as an activity on the Grow Up Learning website). The schedule wasn’t highly structured. Seems like a perfect fit. Now let’s hope that Brady’s nerves (and mine) can take it!

When we toured the facility, Brady took a while to warm up. We are registering along with a few of our friends and neighbors. The other kids all went right in and started to play. Not Brady, he wanted to cuddle with his mama for a little while first. (Is it wrong that I still like him to cuddle and want me to hold him?) Now after a few minutes, he was fine and went and played. And on our way out the door he talked to every adult that he saw. So although he started as a Nervous Nilly (and I am sure the first day or week of school will be nerve-wracking), I think Brady will be just fine and will even grow to love his class.

I’m tired. I actually can’t remember my last full night of sleep. It probably came sometime about three years ago, before I got so big while pregnant with Andrew that I could no longer sleep comfortably or make it through the night without a sharp jab to the ribs around 2 AM.

Before he was born, Andrew’s most active time was between 1-2 in the morning. Not exactly ideal. I would try to tell him, even back then, that 2AM was not play time. He would roll over and give me a quick poke to the ribs, which would leave me imagining him turning his back and crossing his arms across his chest in protest.

Andrew still isn’t a big fan of sleep. He doesn’t want to miss anything. Bedtime is a process. One that involves Andrew trying to wiggle out of bed and us trying to keep him inside. He’s masterful at coming up with excuses not to go to sleep.

“Mommy, need water.” A newer one is “Daddy, need tissue! Have boogers.” (I still don’t know where he learned that one.) And most recently, heard last night, “Pee pee potty, not in diaper.” (Now, Andrew has never actually USED the potty – but how can you refuse taking him to the bathroom if he’s telling you that he needs to go?)

Once he finally passes out, he rarely stays asleep, usually getting up at least twice in the middle of the night and always at 2. It wouldn’t be that bad if he would just play quietly in his room. But he wants to be with us and cries hysterically.

It’s hard to listen to. No one likes to hear their kid cry. I was talking to one of my co-workers tonight about it. He told me that his son is SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD and STILL gets up every night. The guy’s wife still goes into their son’s room every night to check on him when he wakes up.

That scares me. I thought that kids figure this stuff out eventually… That one wonderful day, hopefully not too far off, that Andrew will just start sleeping through the night. I don’t want to think that we’re creating a pattern that will last until he goes away to college!

I know that the things we do now help to form who our kids are in the future. But that’s just one habit I don’t want to foster. Is the answer really just letting him cry himself back to sleep? Is this something he’ll figure out on his own?

I’m not sure. But if anyone out there has any ideas, I’d love to hear them.

I am Janelle’s husband and Jack’s daddy; I was asked to write this week’s blog for Janelle. We live in a small town in a state with arguably the worst public education system in the country. So, when we began looking at pre-schools in the area, our options were limited. After consulting with other parents/friends in the area, we narrowed it down to a highly recommended pre-school at a local church. The facility is immaculate; the staff is well trained; and the structured syllabus is a great start for our three year old next fall.

The school prioritizes church members, prior-students and their siblings. Once the class is filled the registration is closed. As the parents of a non-member new preschool student, we had to wait until the last day of registration and hope that there was a spot remaining for our son. They warned that the registration begins at 8:30 AM, but we were also warned that the line of anxious parents starts forming hours prior.

So I when my wife and I showed up at 4:30 AM on the morning of the registration we were not surprised to find ourselves third in line. We all had folding chairs, and we all sat there making idle chit chat regarding the ridiculousness of the situation. The conversation grew with each additional parent that joined the line. People were polite, but I am sure the people behind us in line felt guilty for that extra 15 minutes of sleep. The result was that we got one of the four available spots in next fall’s class and everybody else got a spot on a waiting list.

What did we learn here today? People are very protective of and want the best for their kids. Am I a better parent than the lady who stopped to do her hair? No, I am a grown man sitting in rain and snow for a preschool that I perceive will somehow give my son an educational edge. Today’s contest was a simple game of waiting in line. I am sure future contests will be more competitive, more expensive and have greater implications. So what can I do right now to help my son, you might ask? I need to convince him that the potty is more convenient than pooping his pants. At least he doesn’t have to wait in line.