Advance Warning
Friday, May 29th, 2015From Friday Mom – Erin:
We met with Rory’s teacher this week for our final parent-teacher conference of the year. When you entrust your child’s care and education to a staff of early-childhood educators, you place a tremendous amount of faith in that staff’s ability to monitor and report on your child’s acheivements of various milestones. Setting aside my views on how odd it is to call them “conferences” when the children are still at such a young age, we appreciated the opportunity to hear her views on Rory’s developmental progress.
She reported on his cognitive, emotional, and physical skills and offered a range of thoughts and advice on areas for improvement. One of the areas she highlighted was Rory’s need to be told about a particular activity in advance. The moment she said it, I realized just how accurate she was and just how often I’d seen the same tendencies in my own interactions with Rory.
Rory does not like to be told, abruptly, that it is time to do something he isn’t interested in doing. Instead, he needs advance warning. For example: “Rory, it is time to change your stinky diaper” does not go over well. Instead, “Rory, we’re going to finish this story, and then it will be time to change your diaper” is usually a much safer approach. Unless it is something exciting, like a trip to the playground or a special snack, we try to introduce all transitions with advance warning so that we can reason with him when the time arrives.
The same is true for new experiences or visits from strangers. The kid likes to have a heads-up in advance so that he can prepare himself.
It isn’t a particularly novel concept. Frankly, I appreciate knowing what’s coming next in my own life. I am a stickler for calendaring appointments and carving out time for particular projects. Unexpected visitors and phone calls throw me for a loop and take me out of my comfort zone. I appreciate and thrive on structure and schedules, and Rory is proving to be similar. Building in a little lead time isn’t difficult to do, and the results are well-worth it. Especially when it means the result is a cooperative two-year old!