Tomato Troubles!
Monday, September 28th, 2009Have you ever had one of those “learning experiences” as a mother that you didn’t realize WAS a learning experience until way after the event? Well, let me tell you about a “tomato event” recently at our home. My “sweet” 3 year old son (Brady) was carrying around tomatoes. He was telling me how he would like to throw them. I told him that probably was not a good idea.
Fast forward about 20 minutes, I am working at putting dishes away in the kitchen. Brady comes out to the kitchen and says “um, mama, you need to come with me to the bedroom, something tewwible (his pronunciation) has happened.” I think, “oh no.” I had completely forgotten about the tomato at this point. I was quickly reminded of the tomato when I arrived in the room. There was THE tomato, with spots of juice all around the shelf, spots on his clothing neatly piled on the shelf, spots on the floor, spots on the wall…. You get the point.
I immediately picked Brady up and sat him down in a “time-out chair.” I didn’t say much except, “stay here, I am going to clean up the mess you made, we will talk about it later.” He sucked his two fingers (his way of coping with stress) and didn’t move. I could tell that he was stunned at the reaction of that tomato. I cleaned it up in 2-3 minutes maximum and came out to talk to him.
I asked him why he would do that. He explained that he just wanted to stick his finger inside the tomato and feel what it felt like. He apologized (several times), hugged me, ran and apologized to mammaw and papa, and the event was done.
My mom told me at the time that he really hadn’t known what he was doing. I immediately told her that he needed a time out because I had told him not to play with the tomato. Now understand, my mother isn’t a “pushover” grandma. In hindsight she was right, but so was I.
How many times in life do we act or speak without really knowing what or whom we might hurt. We often go in with our eyes wide shut. How many words have been said to loved ones or even strangers (maybe during road rage) that later you regret? How many times have we yelled or maybe over-reacted to something small our children have done? However, “tomato troubles” are a part of life. Learning to think about the mistake (in this case, an undeserved timeout) afterwards is an important process for children and adults alike. We all need to learn that no one is perfect; we all squish some tomatoes sometimes, and the important thing is HOW we handle ourselves after the tomatoes have already been ruined.
So this day, my son learned an important lesson (well, a few). First, obviously he learned not to squeeze a tomato. Second and most importantly, he learned that he will make mistakes (as we all do), and the best way to handle it is to think about it for a few minutes (or longer, if needed) and ask forgiveness or do whatever else is necessary to keep the tomatoes fresh in our lives.