What Does Your Baby Do?
Monday, January 30th, 2012From Monday Mom – Neetika:
I never thought that much about what Haley’s personality would be like when I was pregnant. My thoughts were more like, “Is the baby okay? Will the baby be healthy? Are there any problems? And also, how’s the baby doing?” I’m sure most mothers are that way. All I wanted to know is that the baby would be healthy and delivered safely. The rest would work itself out.
What I knew about babies’ personalities was mostly from my friends, books I’d read, and blogs about motherhood. As much as you hear that every baby is different, you also hear a lot about babies following particular patterns. Some are colicky for three months and then completely calm. Some nap twice a day until 18 months. Some babies love to take the bottle. Some like a little chunkiness to their purées. Some always roll over in their sleep. Even though it’s an accepted idea that each child is an individual, there is also an impulse to lump them into categories. Whenever I encounter another mom, I inevitably get asked something like, “So does she just love her jumper?” or “Is she crawling everywhere?” No matter what I say, it seems the person’s best friend or cousin or old college roommate had a baby who did exactly the same thing. But Haley, and I think most babies, defy these generalizations.
For example, I’m often asked if Haley sleeps through the night. The answer, currently, is yes. Haley sleeps from 7 PM to 7 AM, waking up once to eat briefly at 5 AM. This wasn’t always the case. Trips, teething, illnesses, and other disruptions have placed her sleeping habits in a constant state of flux. It’s like that with everything. She once adored avocados, now it’s a miss, or a hit. Depending on what, I don’t know. The phase of the moon? She used to nap reliably at 9 AM, now I’m rolling the dice whenever I try to put her down. Everything is always, always changing.
It leaves me amazed, then, when parents tell me about their kids’ tendencies as if they’re hard and fast rules. Perhaps it is like that for some families. Perhaps not, but pretending that it is helps the adults maintain some semblance of control. With Haley, I can count on almost nothing, except that I need to be prepared for anything.