Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Friday Mom – Erin:
My parents are in town this week to help look after Rory and Charlotte while their daycare is closed for staff development week.  Their grandmother is playing primary caregiver, while their grandaddy is responsible for running Rory around the park each morning to work off the excess energy.  So far, it seems to be working pretty well.

Each night we return home from work hopeful that the day’s report will be a good one.  So far, we’ve not been disappointed.  Rory is apparently a tremendous help throughout the day and he has worn his listening ears all week with great pride and satisfaction.

Until we get home, that is.

My mother politely informs us that Rory is extremely well behaved all day long.  Apparently he’s worn out from all that behaving, because bedtime and bath time have been a struggle the past couple nights.  And heaven help me if I need to do a diaper change between dinner and bath– the likelihood of getting Rory’s cooperation is slim.

I know there is a certain degree of novelty to grandparents, but I cannot help but be a bit frustrated that Rory doesn’t pay the same degree of attention to our requests of him.  I know it is likely an effort to test limits, but at the end of a long work day, I often wish he could leave those listening ears a little while longer.  Guess we’ll just have to keep working on that.

From Friday Mom – Erin:
Rory is a somewhat soft-spoken toddler. He all but shuts down when confronted with his family on FaceTime, and it takes him quite a while to warm up to them. Although some might find this annoying, I have come to treasure his quiet nature. He has taught me the importance of slowing down and really listening to my child in order to truly understand him. I know that developing this skill early will stand me in good stead when he is a mumbling middle-schooler and/or teen, so I try not to lose my patience and have, instead, worked hard to train my ear to understand his whispered musings.

For example, we spent this past weekend on a fairly lengthy car trip. During the course of the over seven hours each way, I found myself craning my next to hear Rory’s tiny voice from the back seat. On occasion I had to ask him to repeat himself, but, on the whole, I was able to keep the “conversation” going for as long as he was willing to engage me.

Luckily, his teachers are equally attentive to his quiet voice. In chatting with his teacher earlier this week, his father learned that he has gotten much better at requesting that his classmates give him a turn with particular toys, and he similarly has learned to speak his desires around the classroom. I’d been somewhat concerned that his quiet voice might go unheard in the organized chaos of a group of two-year-olds. Thankfully, that has not been the case.

Sure, like any two-year-old, Rory has raucous spells in which he belts out his words with volume and conviction. But, for the remainder of the time, I am glad to continuing honing my listening skills and am thankful for yet another reminder that raising well-balanced children requires easing off the gas pedal and savoring the moment.

From Wednesday Mom – Janelle:
Every night since Tate started sleeping in his “big boy” bed, he makes a request that sounds like this: “Mommy, will you lay with me?” It saddens me to think that each and every night I reply: “of course, just for a minute. “ In my mind, I’m thinking about getting Jack cleaned up and tucked in as well, finishing up any homework/projects due the next day, tidying up the kitchen mess, and any other tasks life throws at me all in time to enjoy a couple hours in the evening to relax and have some “me” time.  Tate deserves more than just a minute.

It wasn’t until recently that I’ve picked up on some details that I probably never would’ve talked with Tate about. Those few extra minutes I lie in bed with Tate are when all the good stuff comes out. We talk about his friends, how much he misses his family members, how he tried really hard at staying in the lines while coloring his worksheet at school, how he helped his friend pick up papers that fell all over the floor, and how he felt really sad about not including a friend in his game of tag on the playground. He once told me how one of his girl friends from school told him he was cute. “Eeeeww… disgusting,” he said.

I cherish our heart-to-heart talks. I like to put the kids to bed so I can enjoy some time to myself, but I feel guilty if I miss out on some quality time. So, tonight when Tate asks me to lie down with him, I will lie there as long as he wants me to. If it adds fifteen extra minutes to the bedtime routine, then that is fifteen extra minutes I get to spend with him. I know years from now I’ll be asking him (and Jack) to take an extra fifteen minutes to spend with ME.