Play-Learn-Grow-Repeat

From Monday Mom – Neetika:
You hear a lot about how life with a newborn is hard. And it is. For me, it is difficult in a way that I couldn’t have predicted. I thought it would be more inexplicable crying (and perhaps that is coming at some point- yikes!) and feeling totally clueless about what to do for your child. Luckily, it’s not really like that. There are enough resources out there so that if you put any effort into educating yourself, listening to your own instincts, and paying attention to what your pediatrician says, you should more or less know what to do. That doesn’t mean it’s easy.

Haley is almost three weeks old and she is the sweetest, loveliest little girl. And she’s also a bit of a terrorist. Her expertise is in an area known as sleep torture. She and I are both learning how to make breastfeeding work. The standard for young babies is to feed every 2 to 3 hours, for about 20 to 30 minutes at a time. Sound like a lot? That would be a relaxing night for me. That has not been our reality. It’s more like, ‘Mom, I think I’m going to be hungry and wake up whenever I feel like it. As often as I feel like it. I am going to feed for as long as I want. Take breaks during the feeding for as long as I want. Fall asleep and then cry hysterically minutes later because—surprise – I wasn’t actually finished with my meal. And here’s the kicker. I’m going to feed in such a way that leaves you unsure if I’m getting adequate nutrition, because I feel you need more excitement in your life.’

I have sought sympathy from my mom friends about this, and they assure me my woes are typical. This too shall pass, they say, and faster than I realize. I think that’s the most annoying thing about newborn baby issues. I spend so much time worrying about things, that I’m not appreciating every minute to the fullest. I know she won’t be this age forever. But being a new mom is an emotional time, and I think worry tends to outweigh sheer joy, when it should probably be the other way around. It’s hard to be blissful when you are concerned that your baby is not thriving.

It’s important to keep things in perspective, though. In actuality, my baby is doing great. Far too many parents are not that lucky. I know that, but I can’t seem to stop myself from being worked into a constant, heightened state of concern. Soon enough, I will surely be dealing with new parenting dilemmas that have absolutely nothing to do with feeding. This issue will pass indeed. But the anxiety that comes with being a parent never will. At times, I wonder what I got myself into. Then I’ll have a moment in which I forget to be worried, and I stare with wonder at the miracle I’ve created. And suddenly, all is right in my world, and I know everything will be okay. New problems will always be there, but so will the love I have for my daughter. I have faith that it can get me through anything.